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    dots Submission Name: The Rose Garden and The Tempestdots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 75/194/254
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 993
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 969


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    dotsThe Rose Garden and The Tempestdots

    Inhale the roses, their beauty is forever captured in your life.
    That sweet scent of love, creating an illusion.
    It reconfigures your heart to ignore that empty feeling.
    Sometimes you feel like your standing naked, breathless, alone and defeated.
    Remember the next days dawn will soon rise, giving warmth to the darkest of days, please ignore that encroaching feeling of agony - misery.

    Forever turn away from the storm, conflict was it's game.
    Bound to the flood like a marionette to it's master.
    You can feel it's cold waves washing over your face.
    Captivated once more by the beauty of the roses, reaching for the sun and it's saving grace.
    It just slips further and further away, but one thing is certain that rose you will save.

    For it's beauty stood triumphant in rain.

    Submitted on 2009-11-04 18:03:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very subtle. I like it. The imagery is good. I like the implication of love to cover emptiness, but I feel like perhaps the implied emptiness was touched upon a bit overtly when compared to the limited positive and beautiful imagery. Overall, it's nice, though.

    Perhaps a change to the closing line could give it more impact.
    | Posted on 2010-02-18 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      reminds me of "Alice in wonderland". not the whole disney thing "painting the roses red" but the part where the flowers sing to her. she feels so safe but sacred. kind of like love.
    | Posted on 2010-01-13 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very nice. However, it is with mixed feelings I will tell you it reminds me of a poem written by the father of my oldest daughter. Strangely, when looking back, I can see how much effect this poem really had. It, and the thought behind it, was the biggest reason I stayed with him much longer than I should have. I truly believed that someone who could write something so beautiful and meaningful had to have a lot of good in him. I wanted to find that good; to draw it out; to be a part of it. I wanted to be with someone who didn't exist, at least, not in him. It takes an awful long time to really get to know someone, and all is not always as it seems. I have since learned that everyone has good in them. However, not everyone is able to channel that good; to use it to the best of their ability and bestow it on others. I have also learned that it is my gift, or my curse, to be able to see the best in people, even when others can't. For both therapeutic purposes, and for your own reading pleasure, I will now recite this poem, leaving out only two things; my name and his.

    If Love Were A Rose

    If love were a rose,
    You would see how beautifully
    The peace and tranquility flows
    Throughout and about all I encounter.

    If your mind was a seed,
    I could make it grow
    With all the love it would need;
    I would devote my life to it.

    If life were a garden,
    And love were a rose,
    In unity we would bloom,
    And know how true love grows.

    After giving me the poem, he told me there was only one thing missing from it; my name, which he wrote across the top of the page.
    It has now been 14 years, and I still remember everything about that time in my life, when I was young and everything seemed fresh and new. I am not so old now, but it seems like a lifetime ago, and so much has happened since then. I suppose it would be wrong, and rather wasteful, for me to look upon those years with pain and regret. It would be wrong for me to think about how our relationship turned out, how he turned out not to be the person I thought, and I changed so much I hardly recognized myself. It would be best if I remember him as he was when he gave me that poem; beautiful, deep, alluring. In him I had found an intellectual match; someone from whom I could learn fascinating new ways to look at the world. I believe he saw me in the same light. Much of our time in the beginning was spent deep in conversation, so immersed in eachother it was as though the rest of the world had fallen away. I had always thought that's what it would be like to meet your soul mate; when you look into the eyes of another and see yourself reflected there. However, this reflection is backwards, inside out, like in a mirror. Maybe that's why opposites attract.

    Well, enough of my ranting. I'm sorry I could not provide any writing advice; it was just too overwhelming. Anyway, it was a very nice piece, and I thank you for helping me to take a trip down memory lane.

    Just as you say, the rose is only made more beautiful by the dewdrops on its petals.

    | Posted on 2009-11-05 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]

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