Description: more of a ranting poem its written in a awkward form it tell about my feelings for my father and my feeling for my one love he knows who he is I know everything will get better yet I keep one foot on the ground just in case I fall from grace again you can only hurt so much before the pain goes numb
my father who should go to hell -------------------------------------------
Why do we get put in situations we cannot control what makes up liable for our own actions… if you cut us do we not bleed… if you tickle us do we not laugh… we are human we are naive and ignorant but we are also the future so teach us right from wrong….. Show me that we can make the difference….. Tell me you are proud of me….. Tell me that it will all be okay that you love me and want the best for me….. be a father step up and be a man….. Stop punishing me for my mother’s death it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t prevent it …..I couldn’t save her….. I couldn’t save myself…. I have yet to find redemption….. Reality is before me I want to be a grownup….. I want to be a child …..I want to know that I have someone to turn to …..Well father I do not need that any more…… I have come to peace with myself …..You only have pity for your sad self being….. You never cared if I was ok …..you never chased away the demons when I was scared but he cares for me….. He loves me and he treats me like a woman and comforts me when I am scared or sick….. He knows how to make me feel like a belong…. he is giving me what you never could….. he has given me his heart I love him and respect him you have none of that from me you will never have my respect until you grow up and stop acting like a child…. I was forced to grow up and I am proud of who I am I was a cutter I’m not ashamed…. I used to cut for fun because you hurt me in ways I couldn’t express through words…. these scares are because of you …..Are you happy….. Are you proud of what you have done …..I hope so because you are no longer what kept me down …..I’m at peace with my flaws and I know he will love me even though cutting wasn’t the brightest decision….. I love him that’s more than I can say for you….. I pity your narcissistic way and how you indulge yourself with my pain ……now you shall suffer with my happiness.