Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Reasondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faideddarkness
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
    Elite Ratio:    6.54 - 101/55/50
    Words: 336
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 791
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2078



    Description:
       A heart is treacherous bred only to believe. Emotions aster when it awakes like leaves when then wind passes by. This is about a heart that was drug out of its hole that it lived in miserably and then just left for nothing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Reasondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I opened my eyes when I herd your voice
    I've never felt alive
    I could see the colors of the world
    You brought me to life
    I could feel you breathing into me
    When I walk into this light
    I could do anything cause of you
    Nothing I couldn't fight

    Can it be I've always been dead?
    A life so dark there's nothing said
    Standing behind the mirror tonight
    Watching this life fall out of sight
    Was there a purpose for me to live?
    A motive to have a heart to give
    Vacant is this heart feeling so foul
    Deserted like a desert lays my soul

    You came to me
    Clouds all around
    Can you feel it pumping?
    In your hands bleeding
    I gave it to you
    This life was for you
    Now you leave me
    Thunder surrounds
    I can feel the lightning
    As you're striking me down
    This life all for you
    I only lived for you

    Now as my mind starts to part
    No longer can I bear this heart
    No reflection after my last glance
    You've deprived me of my last chance
    So I venture to the edge of death
    For in this life I've nothing left
    If you think this wound will ever heal
    I won't live if it was my heart you steal

    I know you're out there watching me
    Is this how we were meant to be?
    You tore down my walls to let me out
    Then abounded me to roam about
    The faces on the wall are staring
    At this monster that's now bleeding
    You've pried open my chest
    Closing my eyes never letting me rest

    You came to me
    Clouds all around
    Can you feel it pumping?
    In your hands bleeding
    I gave it to you
    This life was for you
    Now you leave me
    Thunder surrounds
    I can feel the lightning
    As you're striking me down
    This life all for you
    I only lived for you




    Submitted on 2009-11-06 22:10:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The sadness in this piece has me in tears. It's beautiful nonetheless. This is a very strong piece and the range of emotions that it goes through is amazing. I often times wish I didn't have a heart to feel...but only because I know the pain of love and wanting to do anything for the one I love no matter how much it hurt me. The heart can be a treacherous thing.


    Krys
    | Posted on 2009-11-12 00:00:00 | by takenspiritwind | [ Reply to This ]
      Painful like truth! You see, i also want to die for someone, so i can be with him all the time and enter in his dreams and protect and shield him from evil and love him... but God is watchimg somewhere and if you have faith, miracles do happen and love is at the core of all miracles. I know it doesn't review the poem but i am only a messenger of hope who believes in delaying the end till one's real life task is accomplished.

    I am sorry for my crude and unrefined comment but it was honest.
    | Posted on 2009-11-07 00:00:00 | by sombreanddim | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180142

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Incubus written by monad
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Giving written by jjd
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    To written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    This written by Chelebel
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Break Up written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry