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Poison leaking through my teeth. I clench them down, I wont give in. I wont scream. I wont let this consume me, I feel the burns on my skin, depleting as it is, why do I care so much, I thought I was okay with myself but of course I never am, those things only last a moment, now I'm back to my ball of yarn, batting it around the garden, what happens when it all unravels? What happens when I cant raise my head I cant force that sunshine into my face what happens when people start to notice? I'm sure no one will worry, but what if they do? ill do what I always do, ill push them away and pretend I'm invincible, ill try my best to laugh at his kryptonite eyes until they make me weak and I cant stand it anymore and I'm a puddle at his feet a puppy that looks at you with all the trust in the world, and you kick me, you kick me. I should have seen it coming, but your constellations, your galaxies blind me, I'm mesmerize, hypnotized, immobilized, civilized by you. I was a river before you, I was a comet slashing through the night, I was a sun flower with hands up to the sky and papa pulling me up, I used to be alive. Now what am I but a zombie a corpse, I don’t mean to be crude but its quite true, I'm stuck in a nightmare and the villain is me, I'm the enemy and I'm the captive, I'm the killer and I'm the child hiding in the corner, I'm the greatest fool. I didn’t stumble into this grave I threw myself into it and I'm almost content to lay here undisturbed, let the centuries stroll by and ill lay here untouched, unharmed, I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay, ill keep telling myself that until I believe it, ill ignore the white pile of bones ive become, I'm so much better than this.
| I don't think this stuff is incoherent. Of course, it obviously means more to you than it means to me, with layers of personal references, but I can kinda see a bit of the picture.|
It's pretty good. Hating the person in the mirror is a cliché topic, but everyone thinks about it and at some point most people don't like themselves. The lack of punctuation here and there bugged me but I totally understand what it's like when you're trying to get thoughts down... you need to get them down RIGHT THEN for fear they slip away. I enjoyed it, it's dark and it seems to be so raw.
|| Posted on 2009-11-22 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ] || Darker than usual, deeper emotions laid bare here, a scorned heart and feelings of hopelessness not shunned but embraced and processed... This is good it is better to write these pains and darkness out before they grow roots and consume the self. I have feelings in here that faith is questioned somewhat or atleast you feel in the dark about certain things.||| Posted on 2009-11-09 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ] || The first kick you'll remember forever... it's the most brutal shock, injustice, etc.'s that pile up in corners... and for some reason, it's like, I want another one, just to make sure I felt that...|
Everything worth doing once, is worth doing twice. 3 times though makes you Crazy.
|| Posted on 2009-11-09 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ] |