Ill wear a dress to my knees and you wear that hat of yours and that smile I love, wide eyes, snowfield eyes, it’s a blizzard, but your breath on my neck is a scarf, your arms are a blanket wrapped tight around me. Don’t let go. Promise? You keep me together like a ducktape mummy. I’ve been so still for too long. I'm getting cold. Getting old. Fraying around the edges. I might unravel with just a slight breeze, so tie it tight, with black thread. A spider web. Lets dangle far above the world and stare down at the city lights from a rooftop, me and my spider man, boy , baby, lovely lovely lovely the winds spinning us in circles, I feel sick, tornado screaming in my ears, toes on the very edge of a rooftop sea cliff, I don’t want to fall, I want to jump, I want to fly, let me go. Swear you never will. I'm so scared. Determination wavering. My heart is shoving, ramming its fists against its ribcage, looking out with inkspill eyes like the moon gazing at the night sky. The wolves are circling the cage, vultures overhead. Their breath is like chocolate syrup but there’s cyanide in their eyes and razors on their fingertips. Somewhere a snow owl mummers and turns his elegant seaside eyes to me, I blush, he looks away undaunted. A smiling rusty fox bounds into view, he prances around a bonfire field, his voice is a celtic lullaby, he sings with the elves and dances with pink sugar lipped fairies, andandand he parties with the gypsies with love potions and wild flowers. I choke on the potion, it makes me ill, the flowers turn grey and wilt in my hand and he runs off.
I glare at Hope with murder in my eyes.
Somewhere near I hear a lion growl, thunder in the sky rattles my bones. I wont be destroyed again. I'm roses and a black dress, I'm a songbird that hums and cries but never goes silent, I'm a dove with fierce eyes, I am alone. I lean against an ocher wood tree, he doesn’t lean into me. I hear a rustle and I glance up to see a lion’s great bright teary eyes peering at me from the shadows, a golden king, a jealous lover, I run to him and he purrs into my chest and I fit into his side just right and I'm okay I'm okay again. I'm alive again, I dance I weep I laugh as I catch fire.