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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: IIIdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Theophilus
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 116/174/95
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 589
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1124



    Description:
       this one hurt.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIIIdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm a bright smile, a brief moment of love like you’ve never seen before, im a comet flashing across the sky, im blinding, and then I'm gone. I'm running away glancing away as fast as I can, not always fast enough, fingertips brush, a thrill, a scowl, tears ripped from my eyes, stealing me away, this is all my fault, again, please just go away, please stay please stay please stay

    …away.

    Covers hold me at night I don’t need your silk string arms wrapped around me. I lie. My eyes, my smile, even my dreams lie, bite, rest, neck, lean, hallow, breath, scrape, trace, toes, stay.

    I want a car crash, nuclear attack, shooting stars, head on collision, we’d be such a pretty disaster, lets light up the sky, a city on a hill is a firefly compared to us. But who are you? Are you nobody too? That makes two of us you know, two butterflies spin and dance and tumble to the ground, a field of sunflowers as far as the eye can see, night sky, warm breath ghosts float above us, make a wish, a shooting star…

    I wish this were real. I glance away.




    Submitted on 2009-11-08 17:26:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought it was a delightful tumble down the grassy hill... scary for a minute, but oh so exhilarating!

    I love the beautiful disaster part... there are people you meet, and even if you don't know them well, you know this is destined to be the most bright, hurtful and hateful explosion that has ever ripped your world, so you take a deep breath and instead of doing the sensible thing, you giggle and grab their hand and squeal, "Let's go!!!" The cliff looks so fun, and this is the perfect one to fall with....


    Not that I've met a great suicide pact-pal lately, but it's always interesting when you find a real one... So many boys just want to fill the shoes and snap the belt buckle on, then grab for the parking brake when the edge comes up... silly boys. Don't they believe in angels???
    | Posted on 2009-11-13 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep cuts festering from a torn heart as the realisation of solitude sinks in to devour you, a prayer for numbness and escape from all things real yet wondering if the other one is influenced thus also. The irony of discovering that happiness is bound to come to an end and all things should be treated as sacred whilst they are intact still. Powerful words. You need a hug.
    | Posted on 2009-11-09 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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