Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweetiedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: InsanityVanity
    ASL Info:    19/male/noneyah
    Elite Ratio:    2.02 - 8/23/28
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 443
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704



    Description:
       she is important to me


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweetiedots
    -------------------------------------------


    This cute little girl
    Brings to my face a smile
    Laughing and giggling
    All the while

    So pretty she is
    And yet so small
    Steady looking up at me
    As I stand so tall

    She’s always so strange
    And yet always so happy
    Even with her wild hair so nappy

    Strange but pretty
    In her own little way
    She can bring out the sun
    On a rainy day

    My friend and my student
    I teach her sometimes
    But she helps me as well
    Inspiring some rhymes

    If she is ever upset
    I will see the sign
    And make it al better
    I takes care of mines




    Submitted on 2009-11-09 14:21:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it she sounds fun and happy.
    Your stanzas are close to iambic pentameter
    if you read them as two lines instead of four
    with some minor tweaking you could get them
    even closer. For this kind of poem it would be
    a good thing. now u can still keep the format
    of four line stanzas just change them to pentameter
    before you split them

    This cute little girl she makes my face smile
    while she laughs and she giggles all the while

    So pretty she is And yet she's so small
    she looks up at me as I stand so tall

    This cute little girl she
    makes my face smile
    while she laughs
    and she giggles all the while

    So pretty she is
    And yet she's so small
    she looks up at me
    as I stand so tall

    regardless even if you do not change It I still
    like the poem.

    | Posted on 2011-01-23 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180203

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Date night written by expiring_touch
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry