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    dots Submission Name: Sweetiedots

    Author: InsanityVanity
    ASL Info:    19/male/noneyah
    Elite Ratio:    2.02 - 8/23/28
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 404
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704

       she is important to me

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    This cute little girl
    Brings to my face a smile
    Laughing and giggling
    All the while

    So pretty she is
    And yet so small
    Steady looking up at me
    As I stand so tall

    She’s always so strange
    And yet always so happy
    Even with her wild hair so nappy

    Strange but pretty
    In her own little way
    She can bring out the sun
    On a rainy day

    My friend and my student
    I teach her sometimes
    But she helps me as well
    Inspiring some rhymes

    If she is ever upset
    I will see the sign
    And make it al better
    I takes care of mines

    Submitted on 2009-11-09 14:21:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I like it she sounds fun and happy.
    Your stanzas are close to iambic pentameter
    if you read them as two lines instead of four
    with some minor tweaking you could get them
    even closer. For this kind of poem it would be
    a good thing. now u can still keep the format
    of four line stanzas just change them to pentameter
    before you split them

    This cute little girl she makes my face smile
    while she laughs and she giggles all the while

    So pretty she is And yet she's so small
    she looks up at me as I stand so tall

    This cute little girl she
    makes my face smile
    while she laughs
    and she giggles all the while

    So pretty she is
    And yet she's so small
    she looks up at me
    as I stand so tall

    regardless even if you do not change It I still
    like the poem.

    | Posted on 2011-01-23 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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