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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Emotional Misconceptionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 409/221/65
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 573
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 608



    Description:
       I posted this poem three years ago, and though it recieved a lot of views, there was not a single comment. I thought I might try again, becuase this theme has been on my mind lately, and I think it's something everyone can relate to. I actually wrote this one quite instantly, and it was one of the ones I found a few days later and hardly remembered writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmotional Misconceptionsdots
    -------------------------------------------




    A trembling fist goes through the glass;
    Reality is shattered for an instant.
    Can't feel the pain or the warm blood dripping down;
    can only see the red.

    Pacing anxiously back and forth,
    His heart is pounding in his chest.
    What's done is done, as shock hits hard,
    He doesn't want to hear the voices in his head.

    In a mixed-up world,
    Confusion gives way to uncertainty.
    He feels as though he's on the edge,
    Walking on eggshells, breaking glass instead.






    Submitted on 2009-11-10 15:45:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      For some reason, I always get that sensation and those pictures in my head from your writes.

    Felt my fist tremble, my knuckles hit glass, I could imagine the blood dripping from the tip of my finger.

    I had a flash of a man, holding back his fist, with a cold confused facial expression.

    It was deep.

    And really, people use 'deep' much too often on writes.
    And basically, it's not even a word for this.

    I'd give you a much more...

    'deep' word than just that.

    Sadly, I can't come up with on at the moment. Haha.

    But you get the point.
    | Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem makes me feel that you truly have a feeling for the misanthropy and delusion that giving in to a trembling fit of rage can bring . At first you " can only see the red " . Then it hits you what an idiot maneuver it was and you don't want to listen as your conscience screams execrational expletives at you , especially if you have to realize you've only hurt yourself . Then confusion sets in and you feel as if you must defend yourself , but there is no defense available and you're "Walking on eggshells" . All in all a very frustrating experience I in fact once went through when I punched a door , only to realize I had broken my little finger . Fortunately , at least for me , this experience did not repeat itself . Happy days . It's good to learn from your mistakes .

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2010-09-15 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm. I feel like there is a ringing left after reading this. I love pieces like this, that linger and settle the room.

    "A trembling fist goes through the glass;"

    A trembling fist..It strips the strength and anger out of the fist, and shows its fear and uncertainty as well.

    "He doesn't want to hear the voices in his head."

    I hate that feeling. Where everything rises out of control, and when its falling back, you don't want to think. Every thought is just a repetition of the pain.

    "Walking on eggshells, breaking glass instead."

    This created a beautiful image for me. The delicate but uncomfortable feeling of egg shells, and the intensity of glass and the pain.

    Overall, I really enjoyed reading and this and i'm glad I did. Keep up the great work, I'll be looking for more ;)

    (Thanks for the comment on 'Snub' by the way, much appreciated)
    | Posted on 2010-08-28 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it's kind of beautiful in a bleak way.

    Your opening line is killer. I get that punching glass thing (I used to pretend it was the dog getting a little too exuberant!) and I'd say a lot of people would.

    I like how you say 'can only see the red'- it shows this disconnection with reality while also recalling 'seeing red' to mind- it manages to express dissociation and anger succintly.

    The next verse is probably the most relateable- it's less violence, more emotion: that heavy, nauseating feeling of dread when you've done something you shouldn't have. Everyone has had that at some point, so this is a good way to connect your subject with more readers (those who are too self-controlled to wander about punching windows!).

    I think you bring attention to that fine distinction between confusion and uncertainty, that line gave me pause for thought, a little think about how the two are kind of the same yet totally different...

    Your last line is killer, too, It echoes the first line nicely, bringing this full circle. Nicely done :)

    Take care

    Aly
    | Posted on 2009-11-11 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of a couple of long-ago persons I knew in Never Again Land. The first one never punched things before meeting me (I have that effect of men, hmmmm), and the second one boxed so it was not my fault (Yay! LOL).

    I have had those feelings, though, the anxiousness building up until it's like, something has to snap, and just the glass isn't enough... Sometimes, you just gotta bleed, as my friend would say. Just make sure your insurance policy is up to date first.

    Nice write, I don't know why it didn't get comments before, I think it's visual and easy to relate to... I know I can feel it from here.
    | Posted on 2009-11-11 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]


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