Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Umbilical Corddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 382
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 747



    Description:
       This is purely off the top of my head.... you can kinda tell if you notice- i didnt really seperate parts where i rhyme and restart my phrases (idk you'll fig it out)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUmbilical Corddots
    -------------------------------------------


    First, lets be permissible
    Hold that residual thought
    As I constrict down my umbilical cord
    Fill the ensemble
    Fill in the void
    Society, in such piety
    So spill the noise
    Is it just me?
    Or do strict lines convict me
    To be nothing more then a colored kid
    SO fix me.
    With a pen,
    or as-- you another person with a page
    who can’t spill out their soul,
    with nothing but rage….
    So look this is destiny,
    Hope for the rest of us
    Time tells investedly,
    who’s.. well… just Impetuous
    this is off the dome, so you know
    when I write its real…
    I’m not mad for the fight
    It’s just the fight is real…




    Submitted on 2009-11-14 13:18:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180351

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry