[
Join Free!
]
(No Spam mail)
Join Us
Writings
ES Magazine
Shoutbox
Community
Digg Mashup
Mp3 Search
Online Education
Video Tutorials
RolePlay
90% off Amazon
Funny Pics
Role Play
Piano Music
Free Videos
Web 2.0
<<
|
>>
Submission Name:
I've fixed it....Just for you.
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
Xiallia
ASL Info:
17-F-Missing Osaka[IL]
Elite Ratio:
1.66 - 3/18/31
Words:
381
Class/Type:
Poetry/BrokenHeart
Total Views:
48
Average Vote:
5.0000
Bytes:
2542
Description:
SLEEP DEPRIVATION WRITING!!!!
E
ECT IT TO SSUUCCKKK!!!
SHIT WRITING!!!
WAS NOT SPELL CHECKED!!!!
Love yah!
I've fixed it....Just for you.
-------------------------------------------
You this? Do you know what this is?
It's my heart..I've sewn up everything!
I taped everything..
One by one
Piece my Piece
I've fixed it just for you, Love
Will you take it? Will you Protect it?
I'll protect yours if you give it to me
I promise!
Wait...
What are you doing? Don't do that!
You're breaking it again.............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shreds is what he rips it into
Splatters of blood on the floor and the walls.
She fixed it just for him.
Now watch how she falls.
Blood oozing from her eyes as she cries
Those crimson red tears.
"But I've fixed it just for you, Dear"
Uttered her words.
Without a care he ripped it more.
slowly he tore it so she'd watch
Her precious heart.
Broken is what he wanted this time.
Fixed for him is what she did.
Trash is all you are.
You deserve what I am doing.
Ripping to shreds is what you deserve
Laying there alone
Shocked and in pain
Her poor little heart
Broken again
Ripping the last piece throwing it away
The Guy walked away
No Regret for what he done he left her there
and He was done.
The girl soon picked up the pieces
One by one she did.
She sewn them together
She Taped and sewed
Was all she had.
Fixed it again...after a year.
Once again offering her heart
To a young man
Eyes dark as night
He stared to her.
"Please take care of this..."
The Dark one took her heart.
Observed it carefully.
T'was missing a piece he noticed.
So from his own...broken and scarred.
He took a peice from his own and completed her piece
"It's a perfect match..don't you think?"
She beamed with Joy
The Dark one naught a smile
Together til now is how they are...
Protecting the heart...of whom they love.
Tis a warning from there to far.
"Careful whom you fix your heart for" Is what I warn
From here I bid a graceful good-bye
Sayonara my friend
I'm gunna get pie :]
Submitted on 2009-11-15 06:35:23
Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [
Previous
] [
Next
]
Rate This Submission
1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!
||| Comments |||
Don't know for sure if that last stanza fits very well with the rest of the piece as its tone is a lot happier than the rest. As a while it has a beautiful dark mood of pain and loss that is expressed wonderfully.
| Posted on 2010-01-10 00:00:00 | by
Maskannai
| [
Reply to This
]
Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
Guidelines
]
1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
180377
Jimmy Ruska
Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings
[
Copy this
|
Start New
|
Full Size
]
Enter your search terms
Submit search form
Web
www.eliteskills.com
[
Chrispian
] [
Write Forum
]
[
Friends
] [
SNESroms
]
.
Login
User Name:
Password:
[
Quick Signup
]
[
Lost Password
]
January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted
I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my
Video Tutorials
[
Angst Poetry
]
[
Cutters
]
[
Famous Poetry
]
[
Poetry Scams
]
FontSize:
[ Smaller ]
[ Bigger ]