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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lukewarm Poetsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Misc/Satire
    Total Views: 536
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1282



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLukewarm Poetsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’m done with depressing, self-indulgent poets.
    I’m fed up with flowery prose and smooth script.
    And all alliteration annoys me.
    Symbolism sickens me.
    Daft. “dark delving into the depths of the soul . . .”
    Blah ,blah, blah.
    And I’m frustrated with their followers.
    Pointless poet groupies.

    The other day some woman was telling me
    how much better room temperature water is for
    you than cold water
    and all I could think was,
    Yep, and kale is better for you than cigarettes
    What’s your fucking point?
    Do people line up to pay with their lives for kale or lukewarm water?
    Or do they want some ice in a glass and a Marlboro hanging out of their mouths?

    But this woman probably loves kale.
    And spirulina drinks,
    And crying over some self-indulgent poem
    she wrote
    Or some man wrote who is “just magical”.
    Maybe she takes pictures of butterfly wings;
    Takes long walks on the beach
    But only with a hat and sunscreen
    And lukewarm water.

    Still in six months
    She’s dead.
    Even though she stopped smoking cigarettes three years ago
    And ate kale.




    Submitted on 2009-11-15 22:31:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I prefer my poets
    cooked slowly, marinated
    to a mouth watering crispness
    over an open pit of the finest misery
    tears can't solidify

    c'est magnifique...
    | Posted on 2009-12-21 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for a funny take on things. I'm enjoying the smile. I wouldn't have found this work had you not commented on my "Cool fresh air". I like your free swinging style. My own poetry often incorporates various traditional poetic methods with an underlying rhythm, but hopefully not in an annoying manner. Since you are a teacher, I would appreciate your taking a look at my children's poem "In Good Time" which is about how letters, words and so on work together to make books. My daughter, also a teacher, made illustrations to turn the poem into a small book.
    | Posted on 2009-12-07 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes I dream of a dead Poet hanging from every lamppost.
    | Posted on 2009-11-28 00:00:00 | by machine dream | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh. Ironic, sarcastic and witty -- all great elements to fuse into any form of writing, I think. And I agree, even though I'll be the first to admit I'm a self-indulgent bitch.

    What to say?
    Entertaining in that scathing way...
    | Posted on 2009-11-17 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      And the butterfly is just lovely.
    | Posted on 2009-11-15 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      So what do you do? Smoke the kale and eat the cigarettes? Give up writing?

    I love all poems of this sort!
    Never really know what to say about them, though.

    The symbolism of your room temperature water lady is certainly sickening, and the alliteration in this piece is genuinely annoying too. "Pointless poet groupies" is kinda like a MISUSE of alliteration, which I never before considered whether that is possible or not!
    | Posted on 2009-11-15 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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