Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bubblegum Bubblegumdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bubblegumsweety
    ASL Info:    18 -born in Cali -chick
    Elite Ratio:    1.33 - 3/2/3
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Fuck it all
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 898



    Description:
       This is about... my thoughts and emotions at the moment my first thing here so please be nice-ish Iím not the best at poetry so I might just start a story or something... Iím not sure I guess tell me what you think and I will make the decision.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBubblegum Bubblegumdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bubblegum bubblegum in a dish how many pieces do you wish?

    I wish for a life that doesnít seem fair

    A life of uncertainty every where

    I wish for tomorrow to come to soon

    I wish for the cow to jump over the moon

    Bubblegum bubblegum every where

    Like a hard life it stuck in your hair

    Life isnít east life isnít fun

    Scary things everywhere have you on the run

    Life isnít simple you have no ease

    Pain will consume you like a disease

    Bubblegum bubblegum a gun to your head

    Pull the fucking trigger if you wish to see red

    Bubblegum bubblegum isnít this fun

    Another lost innocence see what youíve done

    Life isnít easy life isnít fair just like bubblegum stuck in your hair




    Submitted on 2009-11-16 09:17:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem is actually interesting, with a little revision and editing this could make a wonderful poem, I believe. I love the rhyming aspects, I love the idea of bubblegum, and I love the chorus. If you want any idea's on how to make it any better, I can try and help. :)

    -Abbie
    | Posted on 2009-11-21 00:00:00 | by smexybabe0101 | [ Reply to This ]
      i love it cuz it's random and i like random things. interestiung but good. Don't right it off as bad because it's not.
    -sam
    | Posted on 2009-11-16 00:00:00 | by bloddyrazorgirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180401

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry