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Refusing
Keep moving
Into the night

Step lightly
Don’t fight me
It’ll all turn out alright

This anger
Is not real
Let is pass

You can’t take this
Don’t fake this
As realities clash

You can’t shove this down my throat
It’s a reflex, inevitably I choke
And spit it back up
Making a mess

It would have been easier for you
To draw me in lightly
Making me want it, and love it
Until I accepted it on my own

But I broke away from your ways
Esophagus worn
From access vomiting
And contracting
To rid myself of you

And if you do not stop now
For long enough to let me heal,
I will rupture
Pouring insides all across my tattered life

And I will die
In the moment
All of it your fault

And everyone will see
What monsters you are

To force your little girl
To be something she is not
Someone she can never be

No matter how hard you pray
You will never make it up
To yourselves
And surely not to me

You were wrong
The words whisper
Under your skull

Broken body
Found alone
With traces of your rules
In little puddles of puke
All around

The death was agonizing
Nothing could have hurt her more
Like she suffocated
Underneath all your standards
And her responsibilities
Who she was supposed to be

Who was she supposed to be?
Left alone to her own devices
Shoved one finger down her throat
To rid herself of your ideals
With one final heave
She became herself
And died before ever getting the chance
To spread her wings
And fly free
Without the troubles of the world
Weighing her down