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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sadistically Suicidaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faideddarkness
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 101/55/51
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 947
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 613



    Description:
       This is probaly the wierdest if not scarest peice of writing ive done, but yet kinda cool.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSadistically Suicidaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I�m being torn limb from limb
    In a battle I�ll never win
    Please take my breath away
    Don�t let these memories stay
    Tasting the blood from vengeance
    Malicious anger descends
    Please suffocate this beating heart
    Rip in and tear my soul apart

    Take away this wind in my chest
    I welcome your fist as my guest
    Realize my desires
    Consume this life with your fire
    Let your teeth penetrate my veins
    And taste the pleasure of my pain
    Let me be your victim, your prey
    Already has my world gone grey




    Submitted on 2009-11-20 18:55:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the imagery in this write, even though it kind of got choppy in the middle for me. Normally I'm not one for the doom and gloom, but I like something that is written where I can visualize what I think you are portraying. The middle part seemed almost forced or plugged in after the piece was written. The flowing visual images were stopped by the middle verse then picked up in the end. Possibly the addition of punctuations like a few commas or periods here and there could redirect the poem's flow into a little more cohesive pattern. Again, I enjoyed it regardless. Thanks for posting it and take care.

    Nick
    | Posted on 2010-02-05 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]


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