Sadistically Suicidal

Author: faideddarkness ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho Elite Ratio:    6.5 - 102 /56 /52 Words: 93

Class/Type: Lyrics / Total Views: 1690 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 622

Description:

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Sadistically Suicidal

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I�m being torn limb from limb In a battle I�ll never win Please take my breath away Don�t let these memories stay Tasting the blood from vengeance Malicious anger descends Please suffocate this beating heart Rip in and tear my soul apart Take away this wind in my chest I welcome your fist as my guest Realize my desires Consume this life with your fire Let your teeth penetrate my veins And taste the pleasure of my pain Let me be your victim, your prey Already has my world gone grey

Submitted on 2009-11-20 18:55:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I liked the imagery in this write, even though it kind of got choppy in the middle for me. Normally I'm not one for the doom and gloom, but I like something that is written where I can visualize what I think you are portraying. The middle part seemed almost forced or plugged in after the piece was written. The flowing visual images were stopped by the middle verse then picked up in the end. Possibly the addition of punctuations like a few commas or periods here and there could redirect the poem's flow into a little more cohesive pattern. Again, I enjoyed it regardless. Thanks for posting it and take care. Nick

| Posted on 2010-02-05 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]

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