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    dots Submission Name: the boys from west memphisdots

    Author: kathleenbrennan
    ASL Info:    20's/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    1.71 - 80/84/74
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1001


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    dotsthe boys from west memphisdots

    dark hair
    sad faces
    filled with innocence
    longing for manhood
    still children
    forced to grow up
    put into cages
    for crimes they did not commit
    almost two decades
    holed up in those cages
    glimmers of hope
    lose luster daily
    looking for answers
    to unanswered questions
    hoping for freedom
    looking for redemption

    three young boys
    now aged into men
    still locked in cages
    still looking for answers
    fighting a battle
    hoping to win
    knowing the answers
    will soon begin
    a day in the sunlight
    no longer in cages
    they smile at their neighbours
    no longer in cages

    but still they are locked up
    looking for answers
    no bite marks
    no hair
    and still they are taken
    away from their love
    away from their children
    locked up in cages
    when will they free them?

    Submitted on 2009-11-22 00:11:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, it works for me "cage" muh! all around it good work. well done
    | Posted on 2009-11-22 00:00:00 | by H.Redd | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the topic of the poem. do u happen to be a member of colorofchange.org? :) anyway, my only beef is some ideas are a little repetitive (e.g. the word "cages"). that might be what you were going for, but the timing of repetition doesn't work out very well for me. the entire idea of the poem might have been better made in 1 or 2 coherent stanzas. personally, i feel that anger works best when said in one quick burst.
    | Posted on 2009-11-22 00:00:00 | by gotdalife06 | [ Reply to This ]

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