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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Saturdays = Youthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mud
    ASL Info:    18/f/India
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 55/98/57
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 669



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSaturdays = Youthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    it's not always
    as romantic
    as the smoky jazz coming out of the smoky pub
    that you frequent in your checkered beret
    when you're a thousand years old

    where you discuss how things were
    back in the day

    when you didn't realise the inconvenience
    of not having teeth
    or having someone change your diaper

    when you're still young
    you can have the perfect butt
    from hovering over dirty toilets
    in a shady little bar

    where 5 minutes ago
    you were discussing what a horrible thing
    childbirth is
    even by mistake




    Submitted on 2009-11-24 13:35:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
       I like the intro as it sets a tone and a scene.
    Kind of reminds me of the old man saying to the young lad - what you do all night takes me all night to do.

    I love the line -

    when you didn't realise the inconvenience
    of not having teeth

    maybe because I never thought of not having teeth as inconvenient. Interesting idea.

    I am not sure about your ending lines or that I understand your intent or the relevance. It is possible though, that it is just lost on me.
    | Posted on 2009-12-02 00:00:00 | by dazy | [ Reply to This ]


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