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    dots Submission Name: Feather Footstepsdots

    Author: Fifi
    ASL Info:    20/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 122/54/23
    Words: 404
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2536

       I was filled with inspiration all of a sudden listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and just had to write this down quickly so there are probably a few typos

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeather Footstepsdots

    Softly, oh so softly does she tread
    Her tears not worthy of hearing just yet
    Heart so heavy and yet dancers feet make the trip so light
    Softly, oh so softly does she tread

    My love,
    You are but my protagonist
    I decide wherest you must go
    And so sadly, so sadly, you must go

    Run those feather footsteps
    Until they are footsteps no more
    Skip and weave away from my heart
    And jump and bound until I hear no more

    Gently, ever so gently
    Turn the corner my love
    Pushed from my grasp
    But oh so simply

    One would think such a goodbye deserved more fanfare
    More trombone please, Sir!
    Dance and fly away!
    Just do not tread footsteps until they are gone

    Ever so slight and ever so tender
    Breast from bone and gone and gone
    Whisper my name.
    And yet there is no fanfare, no sound

    No regal exit to preside over
    No swish of gown and exaggerated gesture
    No huff and puff and blow your house down my love
    Merely gone

    And that should be enough
    To be gone should be a damning finale of which I should be proud
    Away! Outcast!
    And a smile should reside upon my face and nothing more

    Yet tension remains and waits
    For the proper goodbye
    For this cannot be it
    No drums, no doves... how I longed for the doves

    Explosions of joy are strangely unwanted
    Goodbye my hand waves
    Goodbye my smile calls
    And yet, my love, I still refer to you as such

    Be gone from this place!
    My mind should be my own!
    Drat! Blasted thing!
    Curses abound and sadness to rage

    Fear of what is not
    Fear of what this should be, but is not
    Be gone at once
    I cannot stand your long slow walk to freedom

    Ah, so this is freedom
    This is my epiphany
    Many thanks for the reminder
    Be happy sweet darling!

    I speak, of course, to myself
    Who else could bear to hear darling fall from my lips?
    Smile you wretch!
    For you have won the lottery of prayers

    Softly, oh so softly does she tread
    Her tears not worthy of hearing just yet
    Heart so heavy and yet dancers feet make the trip so light
    Softly, oh so softly does she tread

    Goodbye, my love

    Submitted on 2009-11-28 23:06:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is beautiful! It presents the musings of the heart, spontaneously spoken, and it speaks to the loneliness and furtiveness that we all indulge and endure!

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2009-11-29 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this in the elegant sadness you presented it in, i enjoyed the overall content but some lines were too long for me to properly fit in ie: stanza 5, last line , stanza 8 final line, i suggest placing a comma in the end of the line leading into the final line here to give the reader a pause before running to the end of the stanza. Overall this was all i could see needed improvement and i really enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2009-11-29 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]

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