The Love Chain -------------------------------------------
Out in the rain we stand
With no umbrella to protect us
I look in your eyes
You look in my eyes
You tell me its over
But I can see the tears in your eyes
You've been hurt by another
You're scared that it may happen again
And before you can walk away
I embrace you in my arms and you cry letting all the pain submerge
Its easy for me to just let you go
Yeah we did have sex
And if I was any normal guy
I could brag and say "Yeah I hit that"
Its so easy for us "guys" to throw you "girls" away
And visa-versa
But we don't realize that in doing that
We make it harder for the one that really wants to love you
Love is just a word
Love is just a game
A game too serious to be plaid
A word too serious to just be said
But we don't think of it that way
Because its so easy to use to get laid
We want pleasure
And love is no longer a treasure
A heart is broken
A trust is stained
And this is called The Love Chain
And this is what I have to go up against
I have to prove to her that I will love her
I will cherish her
I will treat her
I will hold her
Unlike any other man before me
While the whole time she is scared that I will just be like the rest
I don't blame her
I've been hurt too
She holds on to me as we embrace
She doesn't want to let me go
She knows somewhere deep inside
I'm not like the rest
She's just so afraid to be hurt again
She's so afraid to fall in love again
And find out...that it was nothing
So I do like no other man has done to her
I wisper in her ear that I love her
And I mean it
Her feelings are fragile
Her heart is glass
Her clench on me tightens
Oh, I must be so gentle
She wispers back "I love you too"
And for me not to let her go
I say "I'll never let you go."
Out in the rain we stand
With no umbrella to protect us
But its okay we stand in each others protection
Wow. this is amazing. (as i hurt myself even more by typing...) Newayz, this is really good. Ilike how you showed the societal pressures and yet showed how neither of them succumbed to it. I can definitely realte to the way the girl is feeling, and that makes me understand the poem so much better. this is an amazing write. I wish i could find a guy like that. i wouldn't be stupid enough to make mistakes and lose him. Amazing...i already said that. Awe-inspiring. i wish i could write like that.
I liked this a lot. I felt some of the lines too repetitive and held back some of the feeling. And the voice changed from time to time, from gentle guy holding her carefully, to a macho guy "yeah I hit that" or but it's okay we're in each other's protection. Breaking it up into more than one big long stanza might help the flow. For good points - I love! the image of heart of glass, and I love the part where you say you have to be so gentle. Gnetleness is just about the sweetest thing in guys. Except they smell good. Every time I try to be negative, I always come back to that. They smell good. Okay, greta big ramble, my thoughts aren't coming together, but basically, I like your write. ~ Niphredil
beautiful symbolizm, very deep and emotional,reminds me of me, it has a lot of power behind it and it is also... soft is the only word I can find I like it
Submission Name: The Love Chain
