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    dots Submission Name: Curleddots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 40
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 252

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    I could die now
    with your name upon my lips
    curled into the smile you gave me,
    a rich and precious gift,
    and you inhabiting my mind
    like a passionate recluse,
    and your face upon every man
    in every dream.

    Submitted on 2004-07-21 19:27:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I have had a moment of such extreme happiness such as this. Where in that moment everything feels so perfect and complete that you could die at that instant and feel fulfilled. The smile YOU gave ME with this poem was wonderful.
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      this is sweet. not a sappy happy love poem but really sweet, from the heart. can't pick a favourite line cause thery're all great. very well done, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely little poem - nice and sweet.

    "I could die now
    With your name upon my lips
    Curled into the smile you gave me"

    The contentment expressed in those first 3 lines really do it for me. Like a feeling of sheer and utter bliss. Think I remember feeling that once. Anyways, excellent!
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by timberwolf720 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can live on now...


    The rest was great!

    OK, one more line for the webmaster I think. And then another and another. Doesn't he know that length is not equal to quality? NOW I know why he doesn't post his own poetry!
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      "And your face upon every man/ In every dream" is quite the ending. Those lines really struck me for reasons I can't quite name. The notion of dreams is very strong because dreams are manifestations of our deepest thoughts and emotions, so that could be why those lines are so powerful. I loved how this poem felt like a captured moment. A very vibrant image of lips curled into a smile formed in my mind and it projected such contented joy. Nice write. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2004-07-21 00:00:00 | by Memphis | [ Reply to This ]
      how very sweet... "Curled into the smile you gave me..." sounds like real real love, ladybug! is this a new one? i like it. it is sweet and tender and short, just like i like 'em! i specially like the line "...you inhabiting my mind/Like a passionate recluse..." well done!
    | Posted on 2004-07-21 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

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