This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Another Chance?

Author: faideddarkness
ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
Elite Ratio:    6.5 - 102 /56 /52
Words: 188
Class/Type: Misc /Longing
Total Views: 1797
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1000


Another Chance?

Darkness creeping in, even as these words are spoken. It steals the life force, growing cold, stiffing the limbs. Silencing thoughts stop the heart but the consciousness still lives. The eyes see and the ears hear but the mind is unable to control.

I see her walking away yet I can do nothing to stop her and try to make her see. A tear, filled with so much emptiness, slides down my check, slowly separating myself. I watch as my life trails from my body, my soul following her not wanting to leave her essence. The need to be near her is too compelling to forget.

How can I express that I love her? How do I lift her eyes so she sees and feels how I feel? I need another chance, I would plea for her convincing but I do not want to appear desperate. And though I could not live without being with her, id still hate for her to see me like this, falling apart piece by piece. If she only knew, I would prove myself.

Don’t walk away. Please?

Submitted on 2009-12-02 15:22:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I absolutely loved it, not that the pain you're experiencing is a good thing, but it does create something beautiful and that's passion. Thanks for sharing, I look forward to reading more.
| Posted on 2009-12-04 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
  I was talking with my daughter's ex-boyfriend when he was having the same feelings about her rejection. Well, that was twelve years ago but now they have been together for eleven years, have two kids, and are thinking of getting married.

Hmmm ...

They both knew that they needed a partner for life. They needed to be convinced about each other. Maybe they were - just lucky? Lucky to get convinced in time?

This prose-poem of yours must be good, because it made me think and feel all that stuff. Also, your actual written English is graceful and correct (perhaps too correct) and that is great praise, as you must have realized already by looking around this website.
| Posted on 2009-12-02 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?