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Three little forbidden words.


Author: Eagle
ASL Info:    20, M, Australia
Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 22 /48 /18
Words: 25
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 811
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 157



Description:


I love you.


Three little forbidden words.



All these things going through my mind.
Wishing I could turn back time.
Wishing I could make you mine
To spend eternity in your embrace.




Submitted on 2009-12-03 02:24:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  
| Posted on 2009-12-08 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with Clayman. Not powerful enough. It wants you to feel the emotion, just doesnt push you to it.

Good poetry pushes, ya know?
| Posted on 2009-12-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with Clayman. Not powerful enough. It wants you to feel the emotion, just doesnt push you to it.

| Posted on 2009-12-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  The message is sweet but to me it is conveyed rather weakly, it lacks passion and feeling to me. I feel it is sincere but feels rather methodical in portrayal and conveyance. Adding some spice like feeling and description could make it into a sparkling display of love and all things connected thereto. Not a bad piece but not powerful either. Needs some polishing i would suggest.
| Posted on 2009-12-03 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
  
| Posted on 2009-12-03 00:00:00 | by etheror | [ Reply to This ]


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