Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Message, Replydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Priestess
    ASL Info:    21/female/usa
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 49/118/51
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 533
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1060



    Description:
       Good, Bad? What do you think?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMessage, Replydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Message

    The frigid temperature beneath my covers
    Stings me as I'm reminded of lovers....
    Those cold winter bodies meant nothing to me.
    It's your body I crave, your heat that I need.

    It's your searing warmth; that unyielding flame
    That burns in your core. Oh shame
    On me for being too aggressive!
    Was I to know that passion turns obsessive?

    I beg you my love, come back yo your slave.
    I promise to love, adore and behave.


    The Reply

    Your scare me love. Indeed you do!
    I can't be all that I am to you.
    Honestly! What have I done to deserve
    Unparalleled trust? A wanton bird
    That travels no further than her master's hand.
    And this adoration I cannot stand!

    Do I satisfy you? Do I "light your fire"?
    Well if I am flame, then bring my pyre.
    For I would rather die of scorching heat
    Than to be the body beneath your sheets.




    Submitted on 2009-12-04 17:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a very intriguing poem and the beginning sounded very sincere. You have great understanding to actually write both sides. It feels like it has more of a reality background to it then what people always dream for. Not to say life doesn’t change. The reply in this poem is very significant, it shoes that you have the ability to view your self in someone’s shoes and also the sensitivity when you are viewing your self from someone else’s eyes. I enjoyed reading this and hope to read more.


    Faid
    | Posted on 2009-12-10 00:00:00 | by faideddarkness | [ Reply to This ]
      This is awesome. Is it true? If it is true then its sad but also very beautiful.
    | Posted on 2009-12-07 00:00:00 | by BleedingEyes | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazingly written. So very sad.
    | Posted on 2009-12-07 00:00:00 | by sugar_sweet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180859

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    AI written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    prison written by ShyOne
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Your Lover written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry