the story -------------------------------------------
The rotting thread
spun throughout this "time"
without a reason, without a rhyme
this story flying on silver wings
hiding corrupted flesh with golden rings-
this is the autumn of our time.
isn't it strange? the human race?
race-an unanswered question, a dash to death?
this is a time where
souls can be bought and a husk needs no mind
blood is a commodity, the gold standard of this necrotic economy
built out of parts and bodies
and you're a world-class oddity if you dare
be anything but plastic and silicone.
you've heard this before
and you'll hear it again
so start listening now, before this sybil's signs go silent.
i liked the alliteration of the last line, all those S words were nice but im not sure it fit with the feel of the piece, those sounds are so fast moving, continous, and thats what you end on."isn't it strange? the human race?/race-an unanswered question, a dash to death?" is a clever line, the wording, the irony and pun of it is charming. tho thats prob not the point of this "story". my problem with the piece is the lack of connection from idea to idea, theres smart wording and cunning phrases but no solid link, except maybe skepticism or criticism. overall not bad,