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    dots Submission Name: asylumdots

    Author: locke
    ASL Info:    16/M/
    Elite Ratio:    3.14 - 81/103/41
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1093
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 700


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    asylum of love
    why are your eyes
    void of all truth
    and why is my head so confused
    i need a deep breath from something pure
    something genuine in my life
    falling for angels, darkens the light
    beauty is the drug of kings
    helpless minds wither
    and religious hearts crumble
    into the shallow waters that plague us all
    i want you soul...it whispers
    under its breath
    the uncanny monster torments us from
    its perch upon unworthy vessels
    of pure selfish dignity
    once upon a night did you dream? did you feel its presence there when you dont want to believe that she’s as fake as you are...

    Submitted on 2004-07-21 22:50:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this but i've discovered a habit of yours.

    and why is my head so confused

    This should be...

    Why is my head so confused?


    once upon a night did you dream. did you feel its presence there when you dont want to believe that she’s as fake as you are...

    I don't understand the first line of that, and it is lacking a question mark. the rest of it needs to be broken up. i sounds like a run-on sentence. i do like this though. I am adding to my favorites. OH! And a cathier title might be nice as well.
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]

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