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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Without Running Shoesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mojymo
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 50/59/41
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 444
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1277



    Description:
       For Brandyn(Edited after first two comments)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithout Running Shoesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have you ever run so fast
    just because you could?
    Just because you didn't want
    to stop moving?
    Your legs wanted to stretch,
    your heart to lighten,
    your mind to float away
    because it doesn't take much thought
    to run away
    or towards something
    or someone.

    At the beginning,
    I ran to you.
    No matter where I was,
    your face, with every expression
    I could conjure,
    piled in my mind,
    caused it to crush all other thought.
    And because I ran,
    I made a vow:
    "The day I stop running,
    is the day I stop
    loving you."

    How sad.

    In every relationship,
    you hoped for eternity,
    but I expected the end.
    You were almost just another
    test drive, a practice run.
    I absorbed you
    but became the tumor of our lust--
    cancerous--
    and grew.

    And you stopped caring.
    Or appeared to.

    So when I ran,
    my destination began to change,
    and I ran, instead, toward
    someone else.
    And I do still,
    expecting and
    making a mistake.

    End: 8:48 PM
    12/9/09




    Submitted on 2009-12-09 22:09:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey Mojy, i enjoyed the straightfowardness of this write, the way you expressed your emotion without twists or deep metaphors (kind of the way you love someone too?) and you just put it forward.

    I have one bit tho:
    "expecting,
    and making a mistake."
    I feel the comma is redundant here, or maybe the "and"? Anyways the ending just reads a bit akward to me, other than that i think the rest is awesome.
    | Posted on 2009-12-10 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      Reminds me of that old saying..."We arent running from something...we are running TO something."

    Nice write...no matter what anyone tells you about it...dont change a thing...you nailed IT with this one.

    Thanks for sharing.

    | Posted on 2009-12-09 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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