Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loving Every Little Bitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mojymo
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 50/59/41
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 433
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1117



    Description:
       Yummy!! (Edited).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoving Every Little Bitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your saliva's like acid...
    or liquid shit.
    I can't tell these days.
    When you talk,
    the spittle slaps my eyes,
    soaks through the pupil,
    disintegrates my retina.

    My vision has begun to show signs
    of destruction.
    When I blink,
    blood coats the inner eyelids
    and streaks my complexion,
    leaving welts.

    The skin puffs, rises, bubbles
    with joyous popping.
    Bloats to capacity
    and finally explodes.
    Now you are smothered in my pain,
    bespeckled with sticky flesh
    and puss.

    I purge on this suffering,
    loving this mindfuck I've created.
    One massive pile of waste
    you consume and this brings us back
    to the present
    with your lips smothered in mouth-watering sewage,
    dripping down your chin and gullet,
    a satisfactory moan leaking from your innards...

    I take it back, consume myself,
    lick my shit from your lips
    and love the kiss.

    End: 11:45 PM
    12/9/09




    Submitted on 2009-12-09 22:48:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Haha yes, this is what i am talking about. A putrid display of blackened affection laid to waste hehe. I enjoy the pustulence and sickening but feel you mentioned "s.hit" too many times, i feel you should alter it with "waste(s?)" or "fecal matter" or "slurry" hahaha ok no seriously slurry is just wrong! Anyways, lovely piece, just give me more descriptions of s.hit and its powerful and complete! :)
    | Posted on 2009-12-10 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180983

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The World written by jjd
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    i've missed written by mysalvation

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry