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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Play The Reeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 75/186/232
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 606
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1343



    Description:
       Just observations of life, they inspire me. Hahaha


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlay The Reeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Controlling inter-suspicions, a copulus arrangement of pure contempt and utter devotion.
    She said it was for me. A beauty of a gift, any mans dream.
    The frame skips the reel and here we go into what has perspired.

    Can you see my drowning in your stench of lies and disease.
    You drunk whore stare into my eyes and believe me.
    I will end you with out a second thought.
    A schism inside of me.

    Slow down, the clock winds back.
    Sapphires, flush with crimson rays, a warm feeling melting me.
    She is my defeat, her love floods yet keeps me alive.
    Yes a quarrel, you pretentious bitch I love you with everything.

    Open wide open wide, everything we worked and lived for has died.
    No we can never ascend to what we had back then, oh my darling hear my words carefully, I swear I will kill everyone you love if you leave there.

    No man will lay eyes on you again.

    Swallow dirt, swallow my fist, bring up the past my black and blue lover, friend.

    Yet these are mere skips of the reel. No truth to be wrote yet the mind plays out before your eyes, your mind plays out what you desire deep inside.
    A nihilistic censorship played out with cigarette burns, black and white sometimes.





    Submitted on 2009-12-11 16:55:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ok I think you mean "transpired" not "perspired" perspired means sweating.
    Are Sapphire's red? How can they make red rays? Don't you mean rubies?
    "can you see (me) drowning" just a typo there.
    The rest is pretty powerful, just needs some punctuation here and there to allow the reader to pause at the correct places.
    | Posted on 2009-12-13 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok I think you mean "transpired" not "perspired" perspired means sweating.
    Are Sapphire's red? How can they make red rays? Don't you mean rubies?
    "can you see (me) drowning" just a typo there.
    The rest is pretty powerful, just needs some punctuation here and there to allow the reader to pause at the correct places.
    | Posted on 2009-12-13 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


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    181036

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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