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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Miss Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mojymo
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 50/59/41
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 499
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 838



    Description:
       For Jacob


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMiss Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want you to miss my barbarism,
    the incorrect pronunciations,
    the halt and tumble of
    bulky words
    that make my ignorance
    glare out from under the
    rock of a brain in my skull.

    I want you to miss the faces I make
    across the classroom
    when Time has attached itself
    to our backs,
    bent us over
    until the tops of our heads
    drag across the floor.

    I want you to miss the bullet of my laughter,
    powerful sound waves that compact molecules,
    charging compressed atoms
    with a million thrilling volts
    thundering from the amp
    that is my heart.

    But more now than ever
    I want you to miss me
    just because I miss you.

    End: 12:48 PM
    12/10/09
    Thursday




    Submitted on 2009-12-11 20:00:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I do not think that I could have stumbled upon a more appropriate work right now if I tried. -honestly and truly. This piece of yours has made my heart flutter and stop at the same time. I completely understand what is being conveyed with this, all of this. I have loved so deeply, and I still do. -but recently our "team" that was to have lasted for "a long time" has been split. It is entirely heartbreaking. I have never been more miserable in my entire life thus far. My heart, if it had originally had wings...they would have been probably ripped off by now from the pain. My God. -what could I possibly do with these emotions?? Your piece has given me comfort though. -a great deal of comfort.

    Thank you.
    C.
    | Posted on 2009-12-12 00:00:00 | by misschalloner | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes i know this feeling of missing someone till you are sick in your stomach and the world turns grey and nothing just quite tastes the same, this is an awful feeling i know from the times i used to feel, allowed myself to feel. These days its all the same. Anyways, this is powerful and sincere, the bullet reference was wow and for some reason i feel a hint of pain, buried deeply yet protruding somewhat. I enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2009-12-12 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      It's good to be missed and sometimes excrutiating to miss someone.

    I like the way you admit all this, right down to the final sentiment, as though it's not something you can say outloud and so wrote it down. I also enjoy that it is things that maybe set you apart from others that should be remembered and longed for; the things that make us so inherently us and not somebody else.

    You have some great lines too, especially your last stanza.

    I do wonder about line 4 in stanza two, is it meant to be 'our backs'? Really only thing I can see worth nitpicking. A good write.
    | Posted on 2009-12-11 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]


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