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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Am Stronger Nowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: trynfinity
    ASL Info:    38/f/California
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 149/145/91
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 534
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1246



    Description:
       And if our time is over now
    and we move on in different ways.
    Know forever without question
    you'll own my heart for all my days.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Am Stronger Nowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You've been my husband and my friend
    the best part of my life.
    I have always been so grateful
    for the day I became your wife.

    I've loved you for so long now
    and never will that change.
    Even if the time has come
    to part and go separate ways.

    The gifts that you have given
    far surpass what I gave back.
    You've loved someone so broken
    in spite of all it was I lacked.

    Never giving up on me
    and finally now I can say.
    "I deserve to be here to live,
    I am not a mistake
    I should not pay!"

    Thank you my love thank you
    for fighting when I was blind.
    You've helped me to find some peace
    and ease my broken mind.

    And if our time is over now
    and we move on in different ways.
    Know forever without question
    you'll own my heart for all my days.

    I'm grateful for your presence
    for your love and for the fight.
    It's made me stronger than I thought I'd be
    so if alone now I'll be alright.


    Heather Kemper
    December 2,2009




    Submitted on 2009-12-14 00:32:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Quite a touching and beautiful piece. Very personal, that always adds depth. Love can be such a wonderful thing.
    | Posted on 2009-12-14 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      I appreciate the sentiments displayed here -- truth, and the beauty of entanglement (between one and another, of course) -- and this is something which can never be captured otherwise: a sense of everything being alright, no matter what...

    Etc.
    And so on.
    | Posted on 2009-12-14 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      Strong feelings here, i like the overall idea but the construction is a bit poor in some areas causing stumbles:
    "in spite of all it was I lacked."
    I feel here simply saying
    "in spite of all I lacked" could be smoother and read stronger.
    And here:
    "and finally now I can say."
    Would maybe read better as:
    "and finally I can say" because we kind of know finally means now.
    I'm not sure about:
    "I deserve to be her to live,"
    Do you mean:
    "I deserve to be he(re) to live,"?
    And here:
    "I should not pay!"
    Would be better in my opinion as:
    "I should not (have to) pay!"

    Other than that i enjoyed it and felt the emotions. A good write.
    | Posted on 2009-12-14 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


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