I appreciate the sentiments displayed here -- truth, and the beauty of entanglement (between one and another, of course) -- and this is something which can never be captured otherwise: a sense of everything being alright, no matter what...
Strong feelings here, i like the overall idea but the construction is a bit poor in some areas causing stumbles:
"in spite of all it was I lacked."
I feel here simply saying
"in spite of all I lacked" could be smoother and read stronger.
"and finally now I can say."
Would maybe read better as:
"and finally I can say" because we kind of know finally means now.
I'm not sure about:
"I deserve to be her to live,"
Do you mean:
"I deserve to be he(re) to live,"?
"I should not pay!"
Would be better in my opinion as:
"I should not (have to) pay!"
Other than that i enjoyed it and felt the emotions. A good write.