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    dots Submission Name: Escapedots

    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1295
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1142

       chew on this, bitch

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Are you what I created?

    Definite direct subject matter
    And the beginning coming before the end
    [It really isn't my style]
    But I must say I hate surprises.

    Is this really what I ordered?
    I didn't see it on the menu
    but you know, I'm so hungry
    I could eat just about anything right now

    Fine, get me
    in a spot where
    I won't lie to you
    if you think you can
    and spin secrets of your own
    into tales of agony and disbelief and
    [it's my name you know]
    and remind me from where I've come
    from intellect and schizophrenia and starvation and sin
    and explain what I weave before you
    in front of your very eyes.

    Self-confidence, self-assurance
    what's it really matter
    when you've got it all
    and nothing
    at the very same time?



    what I feel.

    This time, escape.

    And goodbye.

    Submitted on 2009-12-15 05:55:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Are you what I created?

    Definite direct subject matter
    And the beginning coming before the end
    [It really isn't my style]
    But I must say I hate surprises.

    This would work better at the end of the poem, right before the goodbye. The lethargic effect and the irony of "the beginning coming before the end" is a good balance with the actual content of the poem.

    I love relationships. The ones that we invest ourselves in for hours and hours at a time. They say that 72 hours without sleep leads to clinical insanity, but I think the more we devote ourselves to people and their psyches, trying to overdevelop their words and what they expose to us, the more we lose our own stability. We lose our consciousness after a while, too, staying objective to their feelings, going crazy trying to be just as honest with them. We become two-faced, making them feel comfortable being who they are and fighting our own moral beliefs- you shouldn't judge, but we do.
    We try to counter their stories with our own, the whole theory that being communicative and open with others or even ourselves, somehow, being important and stagnant at the same time.
    We buy anything to stay on the good side.
    Good retrospect here.
    | Posted on 2009-12-15 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]

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