Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Escapedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 930
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1142



    Description:
       chew on this, bitch


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEscapedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Are you what I created?

    Definite direct subject matter
    And the beginning coming before the end
    [It really isn't my style]
    But I must say I hate surprises.

    Is this really what I ordered?
    I didn't see it on the menu
    but you know, I'm so hungry
    I could eat just about anything right now

    Fine, get me
    in a spot where
    I won't lie to you
    if you think you can
    and spin secrets of your own
    into tales of agony and disbelief and
    catharsis
    [it's my name you know]
    and remind me from where I've come
    from intellect and schizophrenia and starvation and sin
    and explain what I weave before you
    in front of your very eyes.

    Self-confidence, self-assurance
    what's it really matter
    when you've got it all
    and nothing
    at the very same time?

    I
    won't
    tell

    YOU

    what I feel.

    This time, escape.
    Running.

    And goodbye.




    Submitted on 2009-12-15 05:55:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Are you what I created?

    Definite direct subject matter
    And the beginning coming before the end
    [It really isn't my style]
    But I must say I hate surprises.


    This would work better at the end of the poem, right before the goodbye. The lethargic effect and the irony of "the beginning coming before the end" is a good balance with the actual content of the poem.

    I love relationships. The ones that we invest ourselves in for hours and hours at a time. They say that 72 hours without sleep leads to clinical insanity, but I think the more we devote ourselves to people and their psyches, trying to overdevelop their words and what they expose to us, the more we lose our own stability. We lose our consciousness after a while, too, staying objective to their feelings, going crazy trying to be just as honest with them. We become two-faced, making them feel comfortable being who they are and fighting our own moral beliefs- you shouldn't judge, but we do.
    We try to counter their stories with our own, the whole theory that being communicative and open with others or even ourselves, somehow, being important and stagnant at the same time.
    We buy anything to stay on the good side.
    Good retrospect here.
    | Posted on 2009-12-15 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    181129

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry