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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just a taste.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Briannan
    ASL Info:    20/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 123/127/49
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 433
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 758



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust a taste.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like licking a nine volt battery,
    I feel a twitching in me,
    a squirmy pricking feeling.
    It fills me to the brim.
    I need more.

    I
    need
    more

    I watch you move,
    Like a dancing shadow.
    I feel your need.
    I want to fill that void.
    I give more.

    I
    give
    more

    Twisting beneath the sheets,
    Feeling your solid mass,
    Pressed against me.
    I feel safe with you.
    I want you.

    I
    Want
    You

    A breathy exhale escapes me,
    It starts in my toes.
    It is laced with your taste
    Salt and beer.
    I need more

    I
    Need
    More




    Submitted on 2009-12-16 05:12:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this, I like how you make it sound like its something so painful, it hurts to give in but at the same time you have to. It's like you are convincing yourself that its for him, to fill his void, but its really to feel your masochistic needs.
    I am not sure if that is what you were trying to get accross exactly because that is kind of what I had on my mind before I started reading it. But the licking a battery bit and the filling his void are what spoke to me the most in it.
    Strong piece, I like the structure as well, it really brings attention to the basics of the subject which only seem to complicate matters more.
    Keep up the great work :)
    | Posted on 2009-12-16 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]


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