[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: 1dots

    Author: MidnightSun89
    ASL Info:    21/M/N.M
    Elite Ratio:    6.45 - 63/31/27
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 755
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1074

       "I was born here and I'll die here against my will, I know it looks like I'm moving, but I'm standing still"- Bob Dylan

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Walking the streets wrapped in dull milky light
    Sometimes I can see you, but no not once tonight
    Every touch of whipping wind brings a voice in cold disguise
    Hearing only the vaguest pains- of the end to a love that lies
    The slightest fall of all passing shadows are focused
    And I lay down inside on stone

    Close to the floor I feel a cold crawling breath
    I carry everything in memory- haunting me till death
    If I wanted some way out I would have wandered deep inside
    There’s no great pearl or gold in there, but it’s all I’ve got to hide
    The darkness gathers in the corners of the room
    With my eyes still open I know I’m still alone

    She wrote to me a letter, but the letter was never sent
    “Tomorrow you will find your way”-Tomorrow came and went
    “In time you’ll climb on over and find out what is true
    But when, or then- or until then- you’ll have to mortal through”
    This empty room becomes soundless
    And I bear my soul to sleep.

    Submitted on 2009-12-17 07:44:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You know what I thought- when I read this?

    I thought it was a song- like James blunt had written it or something- it sounds completely perfect in that sense-

    I do admire what you say here, and how you're saying it-

    in all honesty you should write things like this more often- & don't say you can't cause evidently you can

    it sounds to me like, this could resemble a somewhat religious piece, relating to it in a way where your soul is lost, and you are perhaps in your darkest hour- and this girl she loves you but she can only help you so much- the rest has to come from within, and I get the impression in this that you're too weak to do it yet- so maybe the stone resembles something you're safe in- most would think a church, but i'm not sure.

    Anyway- just my take =]

    | Posted on 2009-12-20 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Genesis written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Stretto written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Incubus written by monad
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    This written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]