ill fix the spelling errors, speeling is not one of my skills, i just like to write poetry, it annoys some people but those arnt the people i write for. im glad you like it. its one of my favorites. its about a girl i once dated that i still wish was mine, ya i know typical. but she is perfect, my loss. but ya thanks for your insight
Most of your poems seem sweet and simple. I also have a love for short, to the point pieces that don't beat around the bush or force a person to guess.
Your style is different. That is good. But I have also noticed a few spelling errors, and I wonder, do you do this on purpose, to add to what you're saying, or is it unintentional?
In this case, I think the word you were looking for is "surely," which is significant here because "surly" has another meaning. If you can imagine a pirate with a twisted expression growling everything he says, that is being surly. I think you also meant "yearn."
However the flow is consistent, with the exception of "so hot i can't even," which could be easily fixed by changing can't to cannot. You keep your content accessible to all ages by way of the basic language you have chosen. In this case, it does not take away from what you're trying to say. You leave me with a bittersweet feeling, yet I also detect a still-present sense of fun, despite the sad tone.
The best you can do is be true to yourself and your style, no matter what people say. Being original can go a long way.