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    dots Submission Name: Love Falling Indots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 419/434/131
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 567
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 686


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Falling Indots

    You do not fall into love
    love falls into you
    you catch it before it hits the ground
    and you hold it there
    arms shaking from the weight of it.

    Or love falls over you
    climbs onto your lap
    touches your face
    and makes you look into its eyes.
    Love twirls, dances
    or skips about waving its arms at you
    Plays tag with you
    tries to make you "it".

    But if you ignore it long enough
    love falls down
    and kicks and screams
    until you either
    step over it
    and walk away
    or scoop it up
    let it feel the warmth of your breast.

    Submitted on 2009-12-20 21:18:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Really good poem, the whole poem contains a long but a good anthropomorphism which is much more than the regular personifications, the short meter (rhythm) compensate the no rhyme. In “Love will dance, twirl” you made an anti-climax, its fine but I think it would be better if you change it in to a climax like that “Love will twirl, dance”. In “Playing tag with you trying to make you "it".” This expression is the best one in the whole poem; it’s a sweet soft metaphor, nice work.
    | Posted on 2009-12-22 00:00:00 | by Duke Medhat | [ Reply to This ]
      This idea of love feels good and gave me pleasure reading of it. I like the duality of the work. At first, one sees it as relationship love. But then one sees that it could be about love of a child. Then again, one thinks it is about relationship love, but that this love is playful and attentive like that with a child.
    | Posted on 2009-12-22 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this interesting, because (and this probably makes me a jerk) this is not at all what love is for me, and so it was very interesting to consider that it is different things for different people. And i suppose that's obvious, but i'd never really thought of it that way before.

    I kind of liked the idea of saying 'love falls you over

    now that's probably a pretty gay idea but i think it's kind of cool to let it do something its not supposed to do (as far as the twisting of syntax goes)

    and it's a nice way of showing that it have free rein over us.

    or not.
    | Posted on 2009-12-21 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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