[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: F . i . v . e .dots

    Author: Theophilus
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 116/174/95
    Words: 361
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1933

       more gooshey love stuff. it really is possible to meet someone you love more every day, even after a hundred years when your both senile, hideous and have to change each others diapers, you'll love each other more then ever.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsF . i . v . e .dots

    Gentle hands brush an infants cheek, she doesn’t stir, tiny eyes flutter, little lips murmur in a slumber secret language, but its you I see right now, in the dim cradle light I see you more clearly then a sunlit window, painting your face soft honey golden, you’re a gentle whisper, thoughts too quiet for the walls to hear, a fireside on my cheek, blush of berries on thanksgiving, and apple pie steaming on the counter, reassuring glances, I'm terrified and trembling. You inspire hope in me, thoughts of family playing together in a green photograph park, children tumbling at our feet, and that look I’ve waited all my life to see, that look on your face.
    My eyes meet yours in a shy collision and they whisper in a language I can feel resting on my shoulders, hear humming in my ears, a love that’s always leaning on my shoulder as we walk. Knees clatter as we sit… after all this time you still give me goose bumps, until the grave Dear, you’ll make my tummy do tricks until the day I die.
    And when that day comes you will sing to my grave overgrown with vines and flowers, and stare out the window on rainy days and imagine you can almost see my green coat disappearing into the mist. I was always too reckless for my own good, we both knew I would go first. But it doesn’t ease the throbbing. Oh and every muscle aches to chase that memory, but just sigh Love, and hold your coffee a little tighter, its really my hand warming yours. Sleep in an empty bed, but I'm only in the kitchen Dear, just getting a midnight snack, ill be right back, so soon you wont have time to miss me…
    And how we’ll dance then! They’ll be embarrassed at us, We’ll run and jump around like little children and yell and cry, just collapse there and weep, that sort of joy that can only be expressed with those ridiculous tears. I can feel it rising. Hope that things will be okay. Darling we’ll be okay.

    Submitted on 2009-12-23 11:33:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Uhhhhhh, no you won't. You'll just be too old and crazy and disabled to get away from each other, and hopefully, you won't even realize you're married and you'll fall in love everyday again and cheat on your partners with each other.... LOL, and never know you were both faithful to the end!

    I know several several old old couples around here who have done exactly what you've described here. There is one old couple (in their 90's) who are technically the only second-set of neighbors within 5 miles who I sometimes go check on, bring stuff to... They are in better shape than me, he is out walking to the mailbox everyday in the cold, heat, whatever. She can no longer turn her head left or right, and he can no longer hear. So, he's her peripheral vision, she's his oral narrator. They are, in your descriptive flair, "Very Adorable Glaring Old Fvckers" glaring off Death and watching each others' backs from the Reaper. I think the camouflage and plaid clothing increases your survival chances after 50, probably. People who wear it seem to do better than those pastel-light and floral bright people.

    Excellent write, made me think... about ummmm, old generic porno. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's definitely a first.
    | Posted on 2009-12-26 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Very touching, deep and sincere, i feel there is a strong emotion coming out of this and it is like a mad stream of thoughts emanating from a very busy train of thought. This is raw in a sense but not too raw, just enough to get you thinking, the beginning was a bit weak for me but it got progressively stronger nearing the end...
    | Posted on 2009-12-23 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Etiquette written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]