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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Alonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Little Gal
    ASL Info:    20 female, Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 469/431/94
    Words: 20
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 910
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 136



    Description:
       I don't really know, I was listening to Iron Maiden- Fear Of The Dark, and some how I came up with this. It's a bit short, but I think I like the idea that i can write something short since I usually go into detail a lot. Give me your thoughts about it


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    dotsAlonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A feeble sound
    From each corner
    A slight move
    Behind every bush
    A simple phobia
    A fear of being alone




    Submitted on 2004-07-22 10:27:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      good poem. very short and simple. but, like you said, you usually write longer poems, so it was a good stab at something different. i liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by Kalidoscopeeyes | [ Reply to This ]
      cant say this was fine, but was goood enough... being alone ..yhea it is freaky...
    and it sud have been made much freakeir...
    thrill sells...
    better..
    yhea the pic u have is wonderfull plz dont change this one for any reason... atleast not for me
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
      I like what you've done here, but you have one thing wrong, and that is simple. You seem to have a fear of not being alone!
    Reminds me of the old Black Sabath tune Paranoid.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm...you've left me wondering. What is the source of your fear? I wonder what happened to make this person (you if its you) so afraid like a child. It made me think of Sixth Sense. I'll let you be now.
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and sweet yet full of anxiety I can see. It might be very short but I can still recognise your fear of being alone in this short passage. Very good. Somehow though it feels a little lifeless, perhaps thats how its supposed to be seeing that you are trying to demonstrate what its like to feel alone. Very good. keep up the good writing.
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]


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