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    dots Submission Name: Counting Treesdots

    Author: RisingSon
    Elite Ratio:    1.69 - 7/79/52
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 538
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1060

       Work in progress.

    You should try reading it with the melody and rhythm in my head. That would help.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCounting Treesdots

    Counting trees

    from a third story window
    Wishing we

    had a new place to go
    Tracing snow

    flakes with our fingers
    and the outlines they would make

    on the corners of our souls

    Sipping tea

    from lands like cartoon pictures
    From a pot

    grandma gave to me
    Burning tongues

    our hearts a spark like embers
    We lay awake

    every night just listening

    Never sleep

    when the moon is the brightest
    Close your eyes

    curl up all your toes
    Open up

    long lonely fingers
    Let them hold

    little cobblestones

    Sweet relief

    in morning thunder showers
    Sweet belief

    rolling through your bones
    You're the stone

    the moment and the hour
    I've been waiting for

    now I have to watch you go

    Submitted on 2009-12-28 14:37:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is quite beautiful James, and there's a careful consideration about the phrasing, and yeah I pick up on the musicality of it. But mostly I just enjoyed the way the phrasing unfolds. graceful.
    | Posted on 2009-12-28 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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