i wish you could flow better. it's not bad. i like the idea behind it. its just off rhythm, no pattern. i don't really believe in structure when it comes to poetry, but if you are going to attempt structure, do it right. because i will be honest, i don't like structure because i suck at it. lol.
dam yet again you have done it! I can't express what I like so much It maybe the way you use your words how you are able to make it all flow so nicely I am jelouse this I am sure I have mentioned once or twice before. This is great although you have me wondering why its retyped..??