Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ...and The Wind Gave Me Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 75/182/217
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 709
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1297



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots...and The Wind Gave Me Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Today, a word came floating by, a feather so brilliantly white. I paused for a moment, the cold winter sky hopelessly blew even colder my way.
    Yet inside I couldn't help but feel warm as I thought of you.
    Yesterday I felt so naked inside, just wishing to be by your side. Everyday seems just today, maybe someday yesterday I can be with you.
    I will save you the fate of a single kiss, and when I say that I love you.
    I really do.

    Play for you I will, a piano, a tune made just you.
    Sing? Yes, my heartstrings carry me into a melody.

    Tomorrow, a dream still lingering on open eyes, wide awake to the excitement of life for the first time.
    I wish I could rush to you, softly embrace and cry inside. Just so happy to see your face.
    Just so happy to be alive.
    Yesterday, I said I caught a feather, haplessly floating my way.
    Fate loves to play it's games.
    Yesterday was someday tomorrow in my heart, just looking into the mirror, out the window into what I love.
    Imagining the moment our eyes could meet.

    Play for you I will, a piano, a lovely tune just for you.
    Sing? Always, my love and my heart scream through every inch of me.
    Love? Yes, I love you.




    Submitted on 2009-12-29 18:27:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Structure, schmucture, rules and order -- bleh.

    Anyway...
    I found this honest. And yes, it does float, doesn't it? And play her a tune on your piano. That'll set her a-tingling, no doubt... heh.

    Well, I dunno what else to say.
    I'm not usually one for long-winded, laborious effusiveness. So, with that, adieu. And good luck (fortune favours the bold or so I've heard).
    | Posted on 2010-01-01 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really well written piece you have here. It just about describes what my thoughts on true love really are. I like the way you've worded the lines here- it's very effective. I just have one correction:
    Fate loves to play it's games.
    the it's should actually be its. Also, I don't think this has quite the flow and structure for poetry - it seems more like prose. But the category doesn't really matter. Keep writing and loving!
    | Posted on 2009-12-31 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    181538

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    This written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    The Promise written by annie0888
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry