I like her butt by BenCollier

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Submission Name: I like her butt dots

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Author:	BenCollier
Elite Ratio:	3.72 - 425/386/88
Words:	90

Class/Type:	Poetry/Comedy
Total Views:	1206
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	589

Description:
I wrote this in about 10 minutes after listening to my wife read some poetry to our son whil helping him with homework. Talk about inspiration

I like her butt dots

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Her butt did wiggle it jiggled sublime
A sensuous sashay that compells my mind
A tenuous line painted down her cheeks
Captures my stare, I could watch it for weeks

Those delicate curves, so supple yet taut
I hunger to touch, but heed my second thought
To follow such vision with blinded ambition
As mesmerized by a Pied Pipers rendition

My action is swift, fluid and grand
I reach out to fill my voracious hand
A retailitory response, her action attacks
A boxer's parry, two real hard smacks

Submitted on 2010-01-07 17:57:35 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is terrific. As the female in the situation I can totally appreciate how you are still checking out your wife, post child, makes it so much sexier, so endearing.
| Posted on 2015-09-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  i found this very pleasing...colorful, playful....

one suggestion for the beat..it works all the way through except second line/ second stanza...

i would just suggest taking out "my" isn't necessary and seems to keep in the flow better without it...

just thoughts

jacob
| Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  This sounds like a nursery rhyme. Very fluent, nice. This kinda word play makes me wanna write like....its just catchy, but its something I could never do.

Lol, such "inspiration". Sometimes I like staring at certain parts of my womans body too >.> She's be talkin to me and id be sitting there lookin and then when she finishes id say something like, "....yep" then shed say, "you didnt hear a word I said did you?" lol She knows what i was doing.

Nice work man.

lol onions make me cry...weird.
| Posted on 2011-06-06 00:00:00 | by MidnightSun89 | [ Reply to This ]
  onions make me cry

| Posted on 2010-01-13 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.