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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I like her buttdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 673
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 589



    Description:
       I wrote this in about 10 minutes after listening to my wife read some poetry to our son whil helping him with homework. Talk about inspiration


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    dotsI like her buttdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her butt did wiggle it jiggled sublime
    A sensuous sashay that compells my mind
    A tenuous line painted down her cheeks
    Captures my stare, I could watch it for weeks

    Those delicate curves, so supple yet taut
    I hunger to touch, but heed my second thought
    To follow such vision with blinded ambition
    As mesmerized by a Pied Pipers rendition

    My action is swift, fluid and grand
    I reach out to fill my voracious hand
    A retailitory response, her action attacks
    A boxer's parry, two real hard smacks




    Submitted on 2010-01-07 17:57:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is terrific. As the female in the situation I can totally appreciate how you are still checking out your wife, post child, makes it so much sexier, so endearing.
    | Posted on 2015-09-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      i found this very pleasing...colorful, playful....

    one suggestion for the beat..it works all the way through except second line/ second stanza...

    i would just suggest taking out "my" isn't necessary and seems to keep in the flow better without it...

    just thoughts

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds like a nursery rhyme. Very fluent, nice. This kinda word play makes me wanna write like....its just catchy, but its something I could never do.

    Lol, such "inspiration". Sometimes I like staring at certain parts of my womans body too >.> She's be talkin to me and id be sitting there lookin and then when she finishes id say something like, "....yep" then shed say, "you didnt hear a word I said did you?" lol She knows what i was doing.

    Nice work man.

    lol onions make me cry...weird.
    | Posted on 2011-06-06 00:00:00 | by MidnightSun89 | [ Reply to This ]
      onions make me cry
    | Posted on 2010-01-13 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]


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