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    dots Submission Name: I like her buttdots

    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 589

       I wrote this in about 10 minutes after listening to my wife read some poetry to our son whil helping him with homework. Talk about inspiration

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI like her buttdots

    Her butt did wiggle it jiggled sublime
    A sensuous sashay that compells my mind
    A tenuous line painted down her cheeks
    Captures my stare, I could watch it for weeks

    Those delicate curves, so supple yet taut
    I hunger to touch, but heed my second thought
    To follow such vision with blinded ambition
    As mesmerized by a Pied Pipers rendition

    My action is swift, fluid and grand
    I reach out to fill my voracious hand
    A retailitory response, her action attacks
    A boxer's parry, two real hard smacks

    Submitted on 2010-01-07 17:57:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is terrific. As the female in the situation I can totally appreciate how you are still checking out your wife, post child, makes it so much sexier, so endearing.
    | Posted on 2015-09-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      i found this very pleasing...colorful, playful....

    one suggestion for the beat..it works all the way through except second line/ second stanza...

    i would just suggest taking out "my" isn't necessary and seems to keep in the flow better without it...

    just thoughts

    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds like a nursery rhyme. Very fluent, nice. This kinda word play makes me wanna write like....its just catchy, but its something I could never do.

    Lol, such "inspiration". Sometimes I like staring at certain parts of my womans body too >.> She's be talkin to me and id be sitting there lookin and then when she finishes id say something like, "....yep" then shed say, "you didnt hear a word I said did you?" lol She knows what i was doing.

    Nice work man.

    lol onions make me cry...weird.
    | Posted on 2011-06-06 00:00:00 | by MidnightSun89 | [ Reply to This ]
      onions make me cry
    | Posted on 2010-01-13 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]

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