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    dots Submission Name: 'Live a Dream worth Dreaming'dots

    Author: JoelIsHere
    ASL Info:    21/ Male/ Indiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 8/27/28
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 537
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 783

       I hope that you all can live a dream worth Dreaming.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots'Live a Dream worth Dreaming'dots

    The son of Dreams and Night once said,
    'Live a Dream worth Dreaming.'
    The final fate procured for him,
    Now watch him as he lay;
    'Is it so surprising, son,
    'That your father lay in his deathbed?'
    The Prince of Nightmares beckoned, and
    Though near his Death,
    He would not go, not first without
    Leaving a Lantern for his son.

    'Live a Life worth Living not, for life is a fickle thing.'
    'Rather yet, Live a Dream worth Dreaming.'
    'Leave no stone unturned, no path uncovered,'
    'Your dreams are the only gateway to the future.'
    At last when he had said his piece, the
    Prince of Nightmares lay his head to rest.

    Submitted on 2010-01-11 09:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      /jumps up and down excitedly/

    Heck yes! Chyeahh! I concur! And all other kinds of words of agreement!

    ((And that's just to the title))

    I've got to agree with Maskannai. It does have a tendency to break down. However, I think that break down in itself could be rhythmic, if that is your intention. As long as you're aware of it.

    I like the message that I'm percieving from this. The whole, the daddy won't abandon his son without first showing him the way. Only, you could take it on a march larger scale! Can't leave until the light has been lit for everyone. Until the path is made clear. Until this brave, courageous "father" has shown them all the way. Which sounds almost religious....I just realized that. Although, I mean, it doesn't really...Especially the Prince of Nightmares bit. But, sort of.

    The whole theme of "Carpe diem!" Sieze the day! Yes, very lovely. Not as ridiculous as those horny old "government officials" that used to populate the English courts...before the Protestant movement, naturally. Those Chevaliers. Life is short, don't waste it! Uh-huh. Yes, yes.

    Dream, dream, dream.

    A lovely theme.

    I read this before and after it was finished...and...both ways it was lovely. Though, because to me the Prince of Nightmares is you...can't say I'm diggin' the unmasking. Nope. Can't say that one bit.

    Still... /ho hum/

    Nice write, brother.
    | Posted on 2010-01-12 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful thought that you are developing in this poem and it seems ripe with deep meanings hidden in its cracks..
    As far as structure goes you did well.. The only thing I noticed was that in some places it seems that you have a beat or rhythm that it should be read by, then in other places the rhythm seems to break down, only to be picked up again and break down again..
    Great write!
    | Posted on 2010-01-11 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]

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