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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: True Selfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Depressed
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 974



    Description:
       Wrote this 1/27/2008 just found it let me know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrue Selfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These bags under my eyes
    Tell a story of loneliness
    My warren down feet
    show others just how tired I truly am
    This limp body completes this story that had began.

    Only being human
    Nothing More, Nothing Less
    I am not apart of the super-natural
    I am not one of those with special abilities
    I have my flaws as the majority do

    They seem to be coming out from behind closed doors
    as time progresses
    Now more than anything,
    I am seeing the true side of myself

    Unloving
    Impatient
    Bruised & Battered Soul
    Worst of ALL WEAK

    Too weak to believe things can get better
    Too broken to believe I have any great qualities
    More than this... the inability to Love... For I was never taught how to love...

    Simply fight for myself...
    Defend myself aginist those whom are taking advantage of me..




    Submitted on 2010-01-16 07:18:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Just because you do not have as many gifts as others does not mean you are not special or even mean something to others.
    | Posted on 2010-10-23 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      the beginning of this piece is especially catching... it really brought me in to read some more. The english is alright, don't think you need to change any grammar. However, i do think that by the end of the poem you drifted off...
    in the fourth stanza (unloving
    Impatient
    Bruised & Battered Soul
    Worst of ALL WEAK)
    you've chosen a whole lot of the right words, but i think there would've been a better way to put them.
    The end of the poem is not particularly clear.. though it adds an effect where it kept me thinking after i was done reading.
    anyway, keep up the good work i might read more of your works.
    | Posted on 2010-01-16 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]


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