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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Apologetic Puppetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Draumrkopa
    ASL Info:    23/F/buy da coffee shop
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 225/93/22
    Words: 284
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1408
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 488



    Description:
       A ghra.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Apologetic Puppetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sometimes
    a
    y i
    "I'm Sorry" m
    n e
    g t a
    hardest when you
    e
    i
    the most.




    Submitted on 2010-01-17 02:15:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Draumkopa,

    Very VERY stylish.

    I liked this conceptually.

    I have always been fond of the cryptic in poetry and lyrics, with cryptic references, hidden names, etc, embedded in a lot of my own work [for example in "If you see Kay (A Chessberg) or "Orphanell on a Rainy Day"] but more often than not, those references are for my own pleasure and intended to STAY cryptic.

    I therefore found this refreshing. I must admit, the formatting made it very difficult to figure out your true intent and Em's critique was a saver. Once I'd understood it, tho, I was very impressed!

    Good work,

    Psyve
    | Posted on 2010-04-17 00:00:00 | by Psyve | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this. the idea was brilliant. it took me an eternity to figure out what it said but it was well worth it. your words are very very true.

    dont ever ever ever change something because someone got pissed off and hated it or whatever else, no one else has to like it. its yours and if you liked it before you heard their nasty comment, then its still just as beautiful as it was before, dont change a thing. haha.

    with peace and love.
    | Posted on 2010-04-12 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
       (In advance: This is not, in any way, meant to bash, slam, or in any other way insult Corruptedspirit's post. Their opinion is their own; as is anyone's. I'm just throwing in the thoughts that came to mind after reading the comment that they left.)

    "Unlike the other two I am not a fan of this, why take 2 minutes to read a [sentence] that could [have] been read in five seconds.
    The end message only that [one] would expect to find inside a fortune cookie anyway."

    Why take five seconds to glance over something that, when truly meant, could mean the complete repair of a friendship; the total mending of a broken family tie; the intimate, reconstruction of the foundation of a relationship? It doesn't always work out for the one apologizing; sometimes even meaning it isn't enough to fix everything, but it sure helps.

    If I received this "end message" in a fortune cookie it'd be the best fortune I've ever been given. At least it'd be something worthwhile; as opposed to "Riches await you." (I mean really... Riches await me where? How is that a fortune?)

    I think the only issue I had with this piece is the font/spacing. (Which is uncontrollable on this website I believe.) With the right font, less space, and proper alignment ("mean" is a bit askew) I can imagine this work to its full potential.

    Excellently done.

    -Bereft
    | Posted on 2010-02-04 00:00:00 | by bereftXofXheart | [ Reply to This ]
      Unlike the other two I am not a fan of this, why take 2 minutes to read a sentance that could of been read in five seconds.

    The end message only that you one would expect to find inside a fortune cookie anyway.

    The format is horrid, complicated and just not needed. If you do HAVE to write like this, then try something from a bit deeper inside and a bit more heartfelt.
    Make the end message you decipher a more appealing one.

    Sorry if this seems a harsh critique, but this is my view.

    CS
    | Posted on 2010-01-17 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      Riddle me this, riddle me that -- I enjoyed deciphering this and enjoy how the title relates to the dangling words of the write. It's a great concept overall, and I think that's what can be taken from it. The words themselves aren't particularly unique, but it works for what it is well enough.

    I like when people try different things and go through the many hells of Elite formatting technique.



    -Em




    Sometimes saying "I'm Sorry" is the hardest when you mean it the most.
    | Posted on 2010-01-17 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the idea of this sweety. Absolutely love it.
    I kinda wish you put more letters in there, so I could try to pry a little closer to the full meaning though, I'm slightly disconnected still...
    Maybe I'm just not that smart though ;)

    I get the big picture, I just like hanging on details I suppose.
    It's a beautiful big picture though. (Beautiful meaning a great write... and for me personally, kind of a painful openness.)

    I think you've unlocked something with great potential. Like a signature write from you. This is the one I'm going to remember most.
    | Posted on 2010-01-17 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    182058

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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