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    dots Submission Name: Tennesseedots

    Author: tjsmith5
    ASL Info:    28/m/MS
    Elite Ratio:    5.49 - 109/231/124
    Words: 355
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 583
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2501


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I dislike Tennessee.
    Mud and big, ugly rocks.
    Leafless hardwoods pose like
    they were screaming when they died.

    I found one of God's daughters there
    who wouldn't have me,
    then a bullish slut
    who would.

    But I saw something this
    last visit in January.

    I have a musician friend named Mason
    playing the downtown clubs of Nashville.

    He's another million dollar talent
    living off bologna sandwiches
    but he did win a lingerie model worthy
    girlfriend and kept her three years
    till she left him for a psychiatrist.

    In my way of thanks for his music,
    I agreed to buy his lunch Sunday
    and he'd invited his former woman.

    I kept quiet because I was witnessing
    something gorgeous.

    With their quick dialogue and the
    "I still love you" eyes she made at him
    while calling his on stage behavior
    "crazy and gay and absolutely ridiculous,"

    The repeated touching of his hand across the table
    while detailing her and her new man's trip to the Bahamas,
    and of course the impending marriage proposal.

    Then Mason said something I'll never forget.

    "Geez, Sam- you dumped me in May
    and now you're already talking holy matrimony
    and a white picket fence?!"

    He looked his pain
    into it's once loving eyes

    joked around
    with it.

    His heart is better than mine.

    We finished lunch and parted ways.
    I bought him a fifth of muscadine
    and promised to be back in July.

    I guess there's beauty everywhere.
    Even amid ugly rocks,
    screaming oaks and savage women
    of all sorts.

    There's hope in

    Rock on, Mason.

    Natchez Trace Parkway, TN- 1/17/10

    Submitted on 2010-01-20 18:32:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
    All right.

    So I feel really [censored] repetitive every time I read your work because I'm always exceptionally satisfied by your writing and the way in which you write it.

    I also feel that your poetry says what it says and is what it is and I greatly admire that you can do it with such candor. It's real, real-life, every day, inner-thoughts, outer happenings stuff and I've yet to see you falter.

    Not that I want to see you falter, of course. I just fully appreciate what you do.

    But really, it makes it difficult to comment on.


    This poem, on a more specific level: I like how it's kind of a tribute of sorts, to the oddities of life, the situations we find ourselves in and can't for whatever reason, be it pride or anguish or whatever, get ourselves out of, the way the past mingles with the present in little ways, but also a slanted tribute to Mason as well.

    Rock on.

    | Posted on 2010-01-21 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]
    what i like most is that there is an honesty here. it's laid back and easy going and real feeling.

    i have probably said it before, but i really just dig your conversational tone as well as your observations. (like anything can become a muse).

    i think it interesting how one can compare oneself to another. how someone can be admired for how they handle situations. too, i tend to think that no matter how a relationship may end, there is always some connection with that person that never goes away. whether good or bad. it's history.

    anyhoo... just thoughts.
    | Posted on 2010-01-21 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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