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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In This Moment I'm Lost Foreverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faideddarkness
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 101/55/51
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1503



    Description:
       lol i wrote half of this while driving cause it was in my head this finished the rest when i got to my shop cause ya my thoughts are gone if i wait to write them.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn This Moment I'm Lost Foreverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I stand here looking out
    Across the horizon
    Sheís rising from the sea
    From the grip of the ocean
    I dare not look away
    In hopes that she would stay
    And to forget
    I will never

    Looking into the sky
    All the stars staring down
    Watching tear drops from the moon
    Begin falling to the ground
    I dare not turn around
    I dare not make a sound
    In this moment
    Iím lost forever
    (Iím lost forever)


    Then the wind
    Brings in the rain
    Thereís no sadness
    Thereís no pain
    The sun may not shine
    But itís peaking out
    Rays of gladness
    Thereís no doubt
    Leaves are falling
    With all there colors
    In this moment
    Iím lost forever
    In this moment
    Iím lost forever


    And her eyes like the skies
    Staring inside of me
    Her hand reaching through
    Pulling my soul free
    I dare not tell her no
    I dare not let her go
    Into her
    Iím lost forever
    (Iím lost forever)

    Then the wind
    Brings in the rain
    Thereís no sadness
    Thereís no pain
    The sun may not shine
    But itís peaking out
    Rays of gladness
    Thereís no doubt
    Leaves are falling
    With all there colors
    In this moment
    Iím lost forever
    In this moment
    Iím lost forever




    Submitted on 2010-01-20 18:51:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Okay, after reading your last piece i definitely like this one alot better. it still has the"lost without her" theme, but it is done with alot of different imagery, which is nice. It helps to illustrate the point.
    Good overall timing, the only part that didnt seem to flow as naturally:

    And her eyes like the sky
    Sheís starring into me
    Then she reaches through
    Pulling my soul to be free



    With that being said though, realize that if i'm nitpicking, then there's not a whole lot to find wrong about this piece.
    | Posted on 2010-05-08 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful lyrics.. I can definitely say that they grabbed my heart strings and tugged.. I did notice a typo or two and thought I would mention them to you..
    The first line of the first stanza:

    "As I stand her looking out"

    Is that supposed to be her or here?

    Also the second line of the fourth stanza:

    "Sheís starring into me"

    I think it is staring...
    | Posted on 2010-04-01 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]


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