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    dots Submission Name: burning foreverdots

    Author: darkonesgirl
    ASL Info:    21/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 233/245/125
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 605
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 429

       dedicated to my love tyler.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsburning foreverdots

    love is a flame
    that should never
    be alowed to go out
    my love for him
    never will
    others they try
    to push us apart
    and tear us down
    and for a second
    they almost did
    but when the mind shuts up
    and the heart gets to speak
    that love is still there
    never faultering
    i will spend my life
    showing him just
    how much i do care

    Submitted on 2010-01-21 21:25:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Cute I guess, but kinda cliché like leocrates said.
    Me personally I've found out that love is not a good inspiration for writing poems. As strange as it might sound in this day and age it's absolutely true.
    | Posted on 2010-01-22 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      i even think you can lose or change the first line from a statement about what love is, or fire, if you follow its like saying fire is this love, and it burns, then the following poem loses its relevance like a wick, which i guess is a touching love metaphor but if you go for the fleeting aspect of love after the first line change, be fast, fast fast fast, short is not necessarily fast, think fast, get in a fast realization, duality oneliner maybe... but hey bla blah blah right/
    | Posted on 2010-01-21 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]

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