Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: burning foreverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkonesgirl
    ASL Info:    21/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 233/245/125
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 429



    Description:
       dedicated to my love tyler.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsburning foreverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    love is a flame
    that should never
    be alowed to go out
    my love for him
    never will
    others they try
    to push us apart
    and tear us down
    and for a second
    they almost did
    but when the mind shuts up
    and the heart gets to speak
    that love is still there
    never faultering
    i will spend my life
    showing him just
    how much i do care




    Submitted on 2010-01-21 21:25:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Cute I guess, but kinda cliché like leocrates said.
    Me personally I've found out that love is not a good inspiration for writing poems. As strange as it might sound in this day and age it's absolutely true.
    | Posted on 2010-01-22 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      i even think you can lose or change the first line from a statement about what love is, or fire, if you follow its like saying fire is this love, and it burns, then the following poem loses its relevance like a wick, which i guess is a touching love metaphor but if you go for the fleeting aspect of love after the first line change, be fast, fast fast fast, short is not necessarily fast, think fast, get in a fast realization, duality oneliner maybe... but hey bla blah blah right/
    | Posted on 2010-01-21 00:00:00 | by leocrates | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    182215

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Yes written by poetotoe
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Love written by saartha
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    prison written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Records I written by Raphael
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry