Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Lossdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: manda_bear
    ASL Info:    24;f; alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 57/64/23
    Words: 389
    Class/Type: Story/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 481
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2050



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Lossdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears and blood seep through.
    The towels of blood on the floor
    The razor lying on the floor next to them.
    The search for her is on.
    Down the road to see if she went for a walk.
    Nothing and nowhere.
    Back to her apartment in case we missed something.
    Upstairs to her bedroom I walk slowly softly calling her name "Jen! You here? Jen?"
    No answer and no sound.
    Into her bedroom I walk. Somethings strange about the closet being open and the tub of stuff being out. That usually stays in the closet.
    "Jen? hun. You in here?" I ask again and slowly move towards the closet. To my horror there she was, not lying in the closet but hanging there. Lifeless and stiff. "OMG!!! JEN NO!!!" I scream. In shock i run to find Justin and let him know. As I run out of the room he is walking in downstairs. *Justin, I found her. I found her in the closet." In tears and shock I show him and he breaks down and begins a search for something to cut her down. A call to 911 and I get told find something to cut her down. Justin comes back with the best thing he could find which were clippers. He cuts her down. I was asked if I could do mouth to mouth unfortunately from shock and horror I was unable to. I do chest compressions until the paramedics get there. I walk out of the room sit on the stairs and begin crying and screaming "OMG!OMG!" I knew it had been too late once we found her. Broken hearted I call into work let them know that I won't be coming in because of a death in the family. (to me she was family). I never went back to sleep after that. Not until that night. Sleeping was too hard for me to do. Every now and then since then I dream of that night or i dream of her. I miss her desperately. I never knew she was that sad and unhappy. I thought she was fine and happy when she left my apartment that night and walked over to hers. Unfortunately I was very wrong. Rest In Piece Jen. I love you and you are always in my heart.




    Submitted on 2010-01-21 22:10:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    182216

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry