Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Passionlessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 401
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 978



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPassionlessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have seen death
    Stared it in the eyes
    It has taken from me
    But not to my surprise

    It humored at my pride
    It ignored my state of mind
    It took what I treasured most
    What took so long to find

    It ignores petty quarrels
    Negotiates with naught
    Leaves bitter realization
    And only lessons taught

    It has no face to recognize
    Feels not shame nor remorse
    It gives you no decision
    To abide the rules enforced

    Matters not your position
    It takes from weak and the strong
    There's no escape from its mark
    If you think you can you're wrong

    However, I speak not of flesh
    For it takes from any form
    It took from me my passion
    Leaving pain after the storm

    And so I've seen death
    Looked it in the eyes
    And now I watch in anguish
    As my world dies




    Submitted on 2010-01-24 03:35:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hm. The end was nice, you kind of cut off my train of thoughts and took it somewhere else. The death of passion, thats a hard to one resurrect.

    I love pieces that refer to death as an entity, because it is. It doesn't care who it takes or the time at which is takes them. Its a ill temperted depraved individual.

    Anyhow, great write! I enjoyed it so!! Have a great day!

    --Daisy
    | Posted on 2010-05-06 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I really enjoyed this. I am fascinated by the darkness that surrounds people.
    You must not be entirely robbed of your passion to write such a beautiful piece.
    I am not a very good writer so I am not sure what I can give for improvments. As for imagery I found it amazing. i wasnt sure where you were going with it and it ended in a cresendo that I was gripped to the end to discover.

    Thank you for sharing this piece.

    enigmaticone
    | Posted on 2010-01-25 00:00:00 | by enigmaticone | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    182258

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    True Death written by layDsayD
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry