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    dots Submission Name: Passionlessdots

    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 23/161/138
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 443
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 978


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    I have seen death
    Stared it in the eyes
    It has taken from me
    But not to my surprise

    It humored at my pride
    It ignored my state of mind
    It took what I treasured most
    What took so long to find

    It ignores petty quarrels
    Negotiates with naught
    Leaves bitter realization
    And only lessons taught

    It has no face to recognize
    Feels not shame nor remorse
    It gives you no decision
    To abide the rules enforced

    Matters not your position
    It takes from weak and the strong
    There's no escape from its mark
    If you think you can you're wrong

    However, I speak not of flesh
    For it takes from any form
    It took from me my passion
    Leaving pain after the storm

    And so I've seen death
    Looked it in the eyes
    And now I watch in anguish
    As my world dies

    Submitted on 2010-01-24 03:35:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hm. The end was nice, you kind of cut off my train of thoughts and took it somewhere else. The death of passion, thats a hard to one resurrect.

    I love pieces that refer to death as an entity, because it is. It doesn't care who it takes or the time at which is takes them. Its a ill temperted depraved individual.

    Anyhow, great write! I enjoyed it so!! Have a great day!

    | Posted on 2010-05-06 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I really enjoyed this. I am fascinated by the darkness that surrounds people.
    You must not be entirely robbed of your passion to write such a beautiful piece.
    I am not a very good writer so I am not sure what I can give for improvments. As for imagery I found it amazing. i wasnt sure where you were going with it and it ended in a cresendo that I was gripped to the end to discover.

    Thank you for sharing this piece.

    | Posted on 2010-01-25 00:00:00 | by enigmaticone | [ Reply to This ]

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