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Submission Name:
Downpour
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
Dreamer5009
ASL Info:
16, Male, USA
Elite Ratio:
5.02 - 73/53/28
Words:
138
Class/Type:
Poetry/Misc
Total Views:
708
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
945
Description:
Downpour
-------------------------------------------
The sky grows cloudy
the blue fades to black
the noises all rowdy
hope, we now lack
I walk the streets
face turned from the sky
each raindrop, my body greets
and I always wonder why
Why does the rain
fall throughout the night?
Why does 'against the grain'
now seem right?
We never meant to be,
never meant to truly live
only meant to see
and always try to give.
This flurry of the weather
throughout the days
makes us stand together
in unusual ways
Brotherhood in sun's absence
we give each other a good shove
taking thought from the rains torrents
and fill each other with love
We aren't meant to fight
only to be a friend
we're to fly the same kite
And live our lives to their end.
Submitted on 2010-01-24 07:24:46
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||| Comments |||
I love it, it has great meaning and I can see these things happening as you write them very good
| Posted on 2011-09-16 00:00:00 | by
blackdemigod13
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and yet the rain just falls harder. I love this poem austin. it was very well done.
-Rachel:)
| Posted on 2010-01-25 00:00:00 | by
PopRocksRae
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Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
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1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
182262
Jimmy Ruska
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
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January 10 07
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